It's What's the deal! with your host, Kakashi!
by therichnobody
Summary: What's the Deal is finally back to normal! yay! But I need your help in getting new reviewies, got any ideas? Need to hear from you. kinda working on an idea
1. Orochimaru

"What's the Deal?" with your host, Kakashi Hatake (cue theme music)

(Kakashi walks across the stage and waves to the crowd (mind you it's his first show)

Kakashi: Hello, and welcome to "What's the Deal?" with me, Kakashi as your host. Today, we've got a special interview with the one and only, Lord Orochimaru!

Naruto: Orochimaru? Kakashi-sensei, what's the deal?

Kakashi: That's what were going to find out now!

Orochimaru: (walks onto the stage and sits next to Kakashi) Thanks for having me.

Kakashi: Before we start, let's open the floor for questions-

Naruto: Why are you here?

Sakura: Naruto! Sit down!

Orochimaru: So you can ask me idiotic questions.

Shikamaru: OK, so how long can you make your tongue?

Orochimaru: Let's find out. (sticks out tongue and it stretches all of the way to the Genin Schoolhouse approx. 12yds. And 1ft.)

Sakura: How can you control your tongue?

Orochimaru: Come up here and see (licked his lips)

Naruto: Can you stop smiling for 5 seconds?

Orochimaru: I'll stop when you stop wearing orange.

Crowd: OOOOOOH!!

Naruto: Well-

Sasuke: Why did you bite me?

Orochimaru: Oh, can't answer that.

Kakashi: Any more questions?

Choji: (putting down his bag of Doritoes) If you're the prince of snakes, then name some snake-like qualities you have.

Orochimaru: Well, the sense of smell, the ability to talk to snakes, shed my skin and grow a new one, and the digestive tract.

Choji: Explain. (grabbing some Doritoes)

Orochimaru: Well, to be blunt,my last meal was about a month ago.

All: What?!

Choji: I couldn't do that. (grabbing some more Doritoes)

Orochimaru: I'm still digesting it. You see, I don't get rid of my internal waste by excrementing or urination, but my bodily fluids break up the organism in my gullet and I absorb each and every cell, thus resulting in a slow, yet helpful process.

Ino: So, what you're saying is instead of using the bathroom, you eat whatever and digest it all?

Orochimaru: Correct.

Kakashi: What a coincidence! We have a clip showing the very thing.

Orochimaru: How?

Kakashi: We have our wys. Kiba, show Clip #1-1.

Kiba: Right, Clip #1-1. (pops in tape)

On the screen everyone sees the insides of Orochimaru's stomach as a rodent slowly slides into the pit of stomach acid and bile.

Orochimaru: When did you get that in there?

Kakashi: Remember that little check-up you had?

Orochimaru: (folded his arms and smiled) You planned this all along.

Naroto: Stop smiling!

Orochimaru: Make me.

Kakashi: Let's continue the clip shall we?

Now the clip is speeding up as the rodent's body is slowly deteriorating and being dissolved by the stomach acids. The elapsed time is 5 weeks, 3 days, 2 hours, and 48 min. Barely any of the rodent is left except a few bones.

Orochimaru: So how did you get it out?

Kakshi: Get what out?

Orochimaru: The camera.

Kakashi: We didn't. Kiba, speed up the camera to real-time.

Kiba: Oooh, they Tivo'ed yo' behind! (sped the camera up)

Now the screen showed that only one melting bone is left, then the T.V turned off.

Orochimaru: You are a sneaky one, Kakashi. I never would have expected to be in your presentation.

Kakashi: Well, you know, what can I say? Now a question from me. Your snake. Was it born that big or did you do something to it?

Orochimaru: It was a regular python. I just pressed it's pressure points. It's better if I show you. (scanned the crowd) Hmmm……you. (pointed at Choji) Come up on the stage.

Choji: Who me? Why?

Orochimaru: Because you're fat enough for the whole world to see.

Choji: FAT am I? That's IT! (ran on the stage) I'll take you on myself!

Orochimaru: Imbecile. (stepped towards Choji and swiftly grabbed him into a half nelson) You see, (placed his hand under Choji's neck and licked his lips) there are two specific points on the neck (he pressed his index and thumb on Choji's neck) and three on the chest. (then placed his other index, pinky and thumb on Choji' chest)

Kakashi: Remember the contract-

Orochimaru: By pressing these pressure points, you can stem the chakra flow surging to the brain, sending a message of growth to the brain like so. (pressed all five points at he same time, causing Choji to swell even bigger that his jutsu capacity)

Kakashi: Stop or he'll blow up!

Choji: (now the size of a hot-air balloon) Help…me

Orochimaru: He'll keep growing until you press the points again. (jumped up and pressed them, stopping the growth)

Ino: Hey! How come he hasn't shrunken back?

Orochimaru: Because he isn't stemming his chakra to.

Choji: Oh. (focused his chakra, shrunk back, and ran off the stage)

Kakashi: Any more questions?

Naruto: Why are you so pale?

Orochimaru: Since when have you seen me in sunlight? Besides, I might get a tan from your neon orange jumpsuit.

Crowd: OOOOOH!! (Kiba: Oooh, he clowned yo' butt!)

Naruto: Oh yeah! Well, at least I don't have to trick a girl into dating me!

Crowd: OOOOOH!! (Kiba: He got you back cuz!)

Orochimaru: Oh, really? (stood up and smiled devishily at Naruto0

Kakashi: (sensing danger) Whoops! We're out of time! Tune in next time where I'll find out "What's the Deal" with two demon bros, InuYasha and Sesshomaru! See ya next time! (cue theme music) Now let's go eat ramen or something.

Naruto: Ramen! Where?


	2. InuYasha & Sesshomaru

Before you read, when you see (w: yadda yadda yadda), it means whoever is talking is whispering at the moment. When you see (t: yadda yadda yadda), it means that the person is thinking. Bear this in mind for most of my interviews 'cause I'm too lazy to re-type this over and over and over and over again. Ok, dudes, let's start the show!

"What's the Deal", with your host, Kakashi! (cue theme music) Featuring special Q and A with InuYasha and Sesshomaru! (crowd cheers and claps as Kakashi enters the stage and waves back)

Kakashi: Hello! Welcome to "What's the Deal", with me, Kakashi. (snickers and giggles from crowd) (w: Note to self: talk to producers about getting the name changed) Today is a good day because I'm not cancelled! (crowd cheers) Also, our guests are two demon brothers who are the opposite of "brotherly love"' Sesshomaru and InuYasha! (the two walk in and take opposite seats beside Kakashi) Welcome to the show.

InuYasha: I wouldn't be here if Kagome didn't make me go.

Sesshomaru: And you just had to pull me in too.

Kakashi: OK, no love-lost between them. Let's open the floor for questions.

Naruto: Do any of you eat ramen?

Kakashi: (t) Count on Naruto for stupid questions...

InuYasha: You mean those noodles in a cup? I love those!

Sesshomaru: Of course a half-demon like you would appreaciate human food.

InuYasha: Don't start with me!

Rock Lee: But I thought both of you were full-demon.

InuYasha: I will be once I collect all of the sacred jewel shards.

Sakura: Who's the oldest and by how many years?

Sesshomaru: I am, by 15-

InuYasha: 13 years.

Sesshomaru: 15!

InuYasha: 13 dammit! (standing up)

Sesshomaru: Don't lie to yourself.

Inuyasha: Oh go to hell! (sitting back down)

Kakashi: Right, any more questions before we show the clip?

InuYasha: Clip? What clip?!

Kiba: (coming from backstage) What kinds of demons are you?

InuYasha: I'm a dog demon.

Sesshomaru: Naturally you'd be a mutt.

InuYasha: Oh yeah? (reaching for his Tetsuisaga)

Kiba: And you?

Sesshomaru: I don't limit myself to a label for you pitiful humans. (glaring at InuYasha)  
Kiba: Oooookay, I'm just gonna show the clip now. Hit it, Akamaru!

Akamaru: (backstage) Woof! Woof! translates to: OK, boss! (hits the switch to activate the clip)

The T.V screen shows this sunny scene in a meadow. A kid InuYasha is bouncing a ball up and down when it bounced too far and fell in a stream out of reach. "My ball! Oh no!" he cried and when he couldn't reach it, tears streamed down his face.

InuYasha: Who da hell gave you authorization to show this! How did you get it anyway?

Kakashi: Oh, we have our ways. Let's continue.

Now the screen shows a teen Sesshomaru walking along, saw InuYasha crying, and went to comfort him. "What's wrong little bro," Sesshomaru asks. "My ball is in the lake, and I can't get it out because it's too far!" "Don't worry, I'll get it," Sesshomaru said as he retrieved the ball.

Sesshomaru: (t) This is going to ruin my reputation! (puts his head down)

"Here ya go," Sesshomaru said as he held out the ball for InuYasha, but snatched it back out of his hands. "Hey! What did you do that for," InuYasha yelled. "Because I want it. It's mine now!" Sesshomaru laughed and walked away, bouncing the ball. "Oh...yeah? I say it's mine! Gimme!" InuYasha screamed as he tackled Sesshomaru in the river. "You little! It's my ball!" "NO IT"S NOT!"

The T.V clicked off.

Kakashi: Now tell me. What happened? That looked like a good bonding excuse.

InuYasha: (started to pout) He started it.

Sesshomaru: It was mine anyway.

InuYasha: No, it wasn't.

Sesshomaru: Yes, it was.

InuYasha: No it wasn't! (stood up)

Sesshomaru: Yes it was! (stood up as well)

Kakashi: Ok, let's open the floor for questions.

Iruka: Did any of you ever want to be a ninja?

InuYasha: What for? I fough some ninja before, and they were annoying as hell!

Sesshomaru: Beclming a ninja would waste my time, power, and patience.

Rock Lee: Can any of you fight hand-to-hand?

InuYasha: Yeah, but I'd rather stick with Tetsuisaga.

Sesshomaru: Why would I?

Choji: (holding this enoromous Honey Bun) What are the types of foods you eat?

Sesshomaru: How about you? (eying Choji)

Choji: (sensing danger) Nevermind...( a buzzer sounded)

Kakashi: Look what time it is! It's time for Show-and-Tell! Where our guests show us something and they tell about it! Who's first?

InuYasha: I'll show you something! (pulls out his famed sword) Let's see if you like this! Wind Scar! (a rush of wind and the swinging of his sword sent waves of destruction towards Sesshomaru)

Sesshomaru: Pathetic. (he dodged and attacked InuYasha with his electro-whip)

Crowd: Wow!

Kakashi: Wait! Let's move outside for this-

InuYasha: You bastard! Blades of Blood! (sent red sickle shaped projectiles at his brother. Sesshomaru retalitates bu teleporting in front of InuYasha and attacks him with his sword the one forged by that demon)

Kakashi: Water style! Water Prison Jutsu! (traps InuYasha and Sesshomaru in giant spheres of water) Now, that was an idea worthy of Naruto' genius. (Naruto: Hey!) (w: note to self: Fire that guy that came up with the idea of Show-and-Tell) Right, we have a few minutes left, so-

Neji: If you two are brothers, then whu do you hate each other?

Hinata: Why do you hate me Neji?

Neji: Shut up Hinata!

Sesshomaru: Because I should have gotten the Tetsuisaga instead of that half-demon.

InuYasha: Nah, it's the fact that you're a spoiled brat who can't cope with the fact that I'm better than you.

Sesshomaru: You couldn't kill me if you tried.

InuYasha: I lopped you arm off, didn't I?

Sesshomaru: You... (glared at inuYasha with red eyes)

Sasuke: You, InuYasha, what are the benefits of being half-demon?

Inuyasha: There are none. If you're half-demon, it means you're nothing but a-

Sesshomaru: Pile of sh#.

InuYasha: As soon as I get out of here I'll-

Ino: Do any of you onw a pet?

InuYasha: Why the hell would I?

Sesshomaru: For one thing, you'll have something in common.

InuYasha: Like what?

Sesshomaru: The fact that you are a pet yourself-

Inuyasha: That's IT! (clawing at the water) Let me out of here so I can kick his A$$!!!

Kakashi: Well look at the time! That about wraps up the show (dude backstage: But we have 10 minutes left- Kakashi: I don't care!) Tune in next time where we'll have a round table disscussion with whom Naruto needs to go to (Naruto: Stop picking on me!) The Paranoia Agent, Lil'Slugger! (thinking: Hopefully we can get the set repaired in time) See ya Space Cowdudes! (cue theme music- crowd cheers and claps)

Naruto: Who's buying the ramen?

Hope you liked this one, cause after the next, it's going towards a whole new season! I wonder why...

Me no own Naruto and them, nor InuYasha nor Sesshomaru, so HA!


	3. Lil' Slugger

Well, dude-a-facation! I can't believe I'm typing at 2:22 AM. Dudeness! Well, remember what I said about the whispers and thinking, it doesn't apply here, but it does in the next one. I don't own nuthin' 'cause if I did, Sakura and Ino would be dead, Gekko (the coffing proctor) and Dosu wouldn't be dead, Rock Lee would be Hokage, and Orochimaru would be supreme ruler of all except Konahagakure. (dudeness, that's a mouthful!) So, enjoy!

"What's the Deal?" with your host, Kakashi Hatake! (cue theme music) With our special guest, the Paranoia Agent, who will be taking part in our Question Session today! (crowd cheers and claps)

Kakashi: Hello and welcome to my show! (dude backstage: You're sussposed to say0 Kakashi: I am not!) Again, good news! Our stage has been fully repaired- (a light fell backstage) well, almost. The bad news, the Hokage's cat, Cosmo, has been murdered by Sesshomaru. (crowd moans) But let's get on the show! Please welcome the Paranoia Agent, Lil' Slugger! (crowd claps)

Lil' Slugger: (skates around the stage before sitting down, grinning at the crowd) The pleasure's all mine. (started to grin straight at Hinata, who started to shiver)

Kakashi: Right then, on the questions. Naruto?

Naruto: Who me?

Kakashi: You usually have the first question-

Sasuke: Is Lil' slugger you're real name?

Lil' Slugger: Actually, I'm an entity without a name of which you can speak verbally, so I adopted that name. (still grinning at Hinata)

Hinata: (not looking at him directly) Why... are you called... the Paranoia Agent?

Lil' Slugger: Because I cure the paranoid, like you. And I can name some others.

Shikamaru: Do you get paid for work?

Lil' Slugger: No, but I get pleasure in what I do, so I require no payment.

Kankuro: How do you carry on your job?

Lil' Slugger: I'll show you-

Kakashi: No, that won't be necessary! Right, any more questions-

Tenten: What kind of weapons or gagdets do you use?

Lil' Slugger: This. (holds up a golden, warped bat)

Neji: A bat?! What could you possibly do with- WHAM!! (Neji fell unconsious onto the floor)

Lil' Slugger: (standing behind Hinata's seat) You're paranoid, aren't you?

Kakashi: Stop him!

All of the jonin tried to stop him, but he just kept whacking them left and right. For the home viewer: We are experiencing techinical difficulties.

_5 min. later_

Everyone has setteled down, 6 chunin and genin, along with 18 jonin, were hit by the chaotic Agent. To refrain him from hitting anyone else, they tied him down, put a straight jacket on him, took his bat, chained him down, and Kakashi used the Fanged pursuit jutsu to hold him down. Kakashi, with a broken nose and a fractured wrist, tried to continue the show.

Kakashi: (holding his nose to stem the bleeding) Well there's no need to show the clip to see how well he does his job.

Sasuke: Yeah, we got a first hand account. (rubbing his bruised shin)

Kakashi: Ok, let's find out more about his victims-

Naruto: (standing up) My name is Naruto Uzumaki-

Kakashi: Not us. His first victims.

Naruto: Oh. (sat back down)

Lil' Slugger: Where to begin. Heh heh heh, I believe one of my favorites was that punk imitator of mine.

Kakashi: There are imitators?!

Lil' Slugger: Yeah, he thought he could be me. But no one can be me.

Kakashi: I see. So earlier you said that you weren't real.

Lil' Slugger: True, I was created out of the guilt and lies by one Tsukiko Sagi. Mind you, I even attacked her. If it wasn't for that damn dog and that idiot Radar Man, she would be dead right now. (started to smile again)

Kakashi: I see. And how many victims of paranoia have you "cured?"  
Lil' Slugger: Well, not counting the ones here (heh heh heh) I say about... 8. Give or take a few. (still smiling)

Kakashi: Riiiight. Any more questions?

Silence. Then Gaara's hand raised.

Kakashi: Yes?

Gaara: Do you- (looked at a slip of paper) can you transform?

Lil' Slugger: (started to smile devilshily as his eyes glowed a brighter gold) Heh heh heh, No. 1,2, or 3?

Kakashi: (sensing danger) Look what time-

Gaara: (looked again at the paper) 3.

Lil' Slugger: Before I show you, let's get rid of a few things, shall we? (he started to grow, breaking off the chains and straight jacket)

Kakashi: Well, that about wraps up the show (getting his Lightining Blade ready) See ya next time- Oh my God! What is he?!? Run! Call in the remaining jonin!

Lil' Slugger: My bat, please? (snatched it from Kiba and hit him through the wall)

Kakashi: Take this! (shot it at Lil' Slugger but he just shifted out of the way) Hopefully, I'll still have a show next time. Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Lil' Slugger: I assure you, there won't be a next show. (hit Kakashi and started to swing even harder at the others)

Oh don't listen to Lil' Slugger. _I_ assure you, there will be a next show. And the guests will be...uh...uhh...uhhh...Marik and Bakura! Kakashi and the guys at "What's the Deal" need time to heal and get the set repaired. (In reality, I need time for ideas, so to keep ya'll interested, I'll start this series using Kindom Hearts peeps. So, please be patient and I promise, the next episode will not dissapoint. Love the reviews, keep 'em coming!


	4. Marik & Bakura

The long awaited new episode of "What's the Deal" is finally here! Let's GO!!!

Season-1 month later-"What's the Deal" with Kakashi Hatake (cue theme music) The show where we find out, "What's the deal" with some of the craziest people arond! (crowd claps as Kakashi walks in, fully healed, waving to the crowd)

Kakashi: Hello again everyone! We have good news and bad news. The bad news: Lil' Slugger is still rampaging the land. The good news: He ain't rampaging us! (crowd cheers) Also, everyone's fully healed and I'm not cancelled! (crowd cheers even harder) AND my next guests aren't as "paranoid" as he was, please welcome Marik and Bakura! (crowd cheers but stops when they see only one person walks in)

Bakura: Heh heh, where's the warm welcome?

Kakashi: Where's Marik?

Bakura: Oh, he had some traffic along the way.

Marik: Traffic my ass! (walks in covered in soot and ash) This fu#& put sugar in my tank so I had to take the damn bus! But no, it doesn't stop there. This ASSHOLE got on the same bus, knocked out the damn driver, took over, and ran into a damn train on fu($ purpose!

Bakura: Lier. If I did that, wouldn't I be covered in soot too?

Marik: You jumped out at the last minute, jackass.

Bakura: (laughing) You know not to trust me.

Kakashi: Sorry 'bout the inconvience, but let's get on with the show! Questions?

Naruto: (pointing at Bakura) I saw you on the news!

All: (t) naruto watches the news...

Bakura: Oh that. That was just a little hit-and-run.

Shikamaru: I saw that too. You ran over and killed about 28 kindergardeners and rammed the 18-wheeler you were driving into a fire station.

Bakura: Like I said. A little hit-and-run.

Ino: Are you always that destructive?

Bakura: I'm not destructive.

Marik: That's a lie and you know it!

Bakura: Prove it.

Everyone stared at Bakura with their mouths open.

Marik: You are the biggest fool I've ever met.

Bakura: Oh yeah? Well I'm not the one who thought he could fly and jumped off a 2-story building.

Marik: Fool! That was you when you got drunk! Weak bastard.

Naruto: Where's Neji?

Kakashi: Where do you think he is if he's still hurt?

Naruto: I don't know. Tell me.

Sasuke: What a loseer.

Sakura: Naruto, sit! (pulls him down)

Rock Lee: Marik, are you as evil as Bakura?

Marik: Yeah, I'm just not an idiot.

Bakura: I'm smarter than you.

Marik: Oh really? Then what's the square root of 144?

Bakura: HA! That's where you're wrong! 144's a number, not a shape!

Marik: Damn, you stupid.

Choji: (grabbing his 6th slice of pizza) I heard a rumor that you guys went together just to find out how being gay felt.

Marik: Where da hell did you hear that?!

Bakura: Ibet it was that damn Pharaoh.

Kakashi: Weird, 'cause we have a clip showing the very experiment. Kiba, show Clip 2-1, please.

Kiba: (backstage singing terribly off-key, All American Rejects, "Move Along") When all you got to keep it strong, move along, move along, like I know you do!

Kakashi: Kiba! Stop!

Kiba: (still singign with Bakura and Akamaru joining and barking in) And even when all hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through! MOVE ALONG!

Marik: Fools.

Kakashi: Kiba, please! (covering his ears)

Kiba: Huh? Oh Clip 2-1, right?

Kakashi: Yes. (note to self: Let Akamaru operate the controls)

When Clip 2-1 finally shows, the scene is located at this secret location where a number of villans are conspiring ways to get Yugi's Millennium Puzzle. Bakura and Marik are playing paper football, and the two are starting to get bored.

Bakura: (who just flicked it and missed) I fell left out.

Marik: Hell, I'm bored as fu&. Don't these idiots know that the secret to getting the puzzle is-

Bakura: Ever wonder how two dudes do it?

Marik: Why are you just gonna ask me a question like that? Oh well, it's not like there's anything else to do.

Bakura: (t) Damn, I didn't think he was actually gonna go for it. Oh well.

While under the table, there was much confusion. The others didn't notice they were gone until the table started to bump.

Marik: Where the hell am I supposed to put it?

Bakura: I only have one opening!

Marik: What? Your mouth? 'Cause you ain't gotta ass.

Bakura: Bi&$! What do you call this? (sat up and farted real loud in Marik's face)

Marik: Aaargh! You nasty son of a bi&$! I'ma kick yo' ass!

Bakura: I'm glad you didn't figure it out. There's no telling what you got. You m,ight have rabies. (the T.V clicked off)

Kakashi: (still staring at the blank screen) Oooookay. Kiba, burn that clip.

Kiba: (sitting in the crowd) I ain't going back there.

Kakashi: Why not?

Kiba: 'Cause they are back there diong what they did on the tape.

(crowd yells in disgust)

Marik: No we're not. (walks out) But I didn't know your dog was a she.

Kiba: He's not! Where's Akamaru?

Marik: I told you fool! (yelling to Bakura who's backstage) Those were the damn balls!

Bakura: (walks out holding a knife with the castrated testacles impaled upon them) So that's why the blood turned pinkish. Go figure.

Kiba: AKAMARU!!!! (runs backstage)

Kakashi: Why did you do that?!

Bakura:...I don't know. (sat back down)

Marik: I told you that fool was a dumbass. (sat as well)

Kakashi: Well, I'm disgusted. I...really can't say anything else, so-are...are you cutting yourself?

Bakura: (taking slow, deep cuts in his forearm and licking the blood off of his forearm and the blade of the knife) You won't let me cut anything else. Ow. (still cutting himself, laughing at the pain) Ow. Heh heh heh. Ow. Heh heh heh. Ow

Marik: This crack head need help.

Kauto: Why is he laughing?

Marik: Like I said, he needs help.

Sasuke: So do you cut yourself?

Marik: Why da hell would I? Would you? (a bell chimes)

Kakashi: That sound means that it's time for the "Rapid fire Question round"! Where if you answer all 10 questions, you win a new car! Let's begin! 1. What is your favorite ramen?

Bakura: What? OW! Shit! (dropped the knife when he cut too deep so that you can now see part of his bone) Uh-oh.

Marik: Don't eat it.

Kakashi: 2. Your favorite color?

Marik: Purple.

Bakura: (now sucking the blood out of his arm, which is paler than the rest of his body) Red. Uh-oh.

Kakashi: 3. Favorite food?

Marik: Don't have one.

Bakura: Blood. Uh-oh. (passed out and fell off of the stage)

Kakashi: 4. -Oh, look what time it is! Tune in next time where we meet a fiery young man who goes bu the ame of Axel! Till next time! (cue theme music)

Marik: You mean I don't get my car? DAMMIT!


	5. Axel

"What's the Deal?" with your host, Kakashi! (cue theme music) Where we find out "what's the deal" with some of the craziezt people around! (crowd cheers and claps as Kakashi waves back to them)

Kakashi: Hello, and welcome to the show! Guess what?

Naruto: What, you're not cancelled, are you?

Kakashi: No! (crowd cheers) Bad news, Akamaru is, well...

Hinata: He's not dead, is he?

Kakashi: No, but he won't be making any lil' Akamarus for now on.

Kiba: (backstage) Hey! That's not funny! (Akamaru whimpers)

Kakashi: Oh well, ler's get on with the show! Please welcome to the stage, Axel!

Axel: (walks in and takes a seat) What's up?

Kakashi: Welcome to the show. Ok, any openeng questions? (t: 3,2,1 and cue Naruto)-

Naruto: Cool hair!

Axel: Thanks, but that's not a question.

Naruto: Oh, uhh, ok. Do you like ramen?

Axel: Eww! Heck no!

Naruto: What?! (junped up) What's wrong with you?

Kakashi: Naruto, sit. Not everyone likes ramen.

Tenten: Are you a fighter and if so, do you use a weapon?

Axel: Yes and yes.

Gaara: Are you paranoid? (everyone looked worried)

Axel: No. Why?

Sasuke: How strong are you?

Axel: I once killed over 1,000 guys with one attack.

Sasuke: Whoa:

Kakashi: It's a good thing that you're not paranoid.

Axel: Better commit that to memory. (an alarm sounds) What the?

Kakashi: You said the secret word! Who bet on the second saying in the 7th sentence?

Choji: I won! I won! (stuffed a large chocolate muffin into his mouth) What do I win?

Kakashi: You win a lifetime supply of Slim-Fast!

Choji: (spits out the muffin) WHAT?! (crowd laughs)

Axel: How did you know I was going to say that?

Kakashi: Well, we know you have a history of saying that. Kiba, show Clip 2-2, please.

Kiba: Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto! (activated the clip)

The T.V showed Axel in different situations saying "Got it memorized?" over and over and a counter in the lower right hand corner counting every saying. After 4.3 min., the counter is up to 208 statements. The tape ends with the following two statements, "X-E-M-N-A-S, got it memorized?" and "My name is Axel. Commit it to memory."

Kakashi: Whoa. 210 times.

Axel: Some people say that I'm annoying, but I don't see how.

Kakashi: Right. So earlier you said that you weren't really here.

Axel: True, I am a nobody, and that means I don't have a heart so I really have no emotion. Got it memorized?

Naruto: That's 211!

Kakashi: Also, you once conspired to take over the world by letting the darkness take it over.

Axel: No, that's where you're wrong. I USED to want to, but all I wanted to do was hang out with my friend, Roxas. After I betrayed them, they tried to kill me. But what are you gonna do?

Kakashi: That must be depressing for you. So, are you still on the run?

Axel: Yeah, and being on live T.V. ain't helping me.

Kakashi: You have a point. Any sworn enemies?

Axel: Besides that gay punk Marluxia, nobodies. Get it? Technically, my entire organization is composed of nobodies. Ha ha, that sucked. Oh well. (listens to an incoming message on his headset) Yes?...uh-huh... ...oh. I see... ... ...yes, I'll tell him. Um, Axel? Do you know anyone by the name of Saix?

Axel: Yeah?

Kakashi: Well, he's coming for ya.

Axel: I gotta go.

Kakashi: No wait, stay. You've got a good, 10-15 minutes before he finds you. Remember, this is the village _hidden_ in the leaves. Any questions? (a bell sounds) Uh, I don't know what that's for. (dude backstage: The rapid fire question session!) Oh yeah! It's time for the rapid fire question session! Where if you answer all 10 questions, you win a chance to win a chance to win 50,000 dollars! Let's begin. Are you gay? (t: What the?)

Axel: No.

Kakashi: Are you sure you're not gay? (t: Wait, who wrote this?)

Axel: I'm sure. Got it memorized?

Kakashi: Apparently not. What is better-chicken of beef flavored ramen?

Axel: Neither. (Naruto: Hey!)

Kakashi: Ok, do you like-

Saix: AXEL!!! (appeared on the stage)

Axel: Bye! (ran out)

Saix: Get back here! (ran after him)

Kakashi: Wait! Oh well, tune in next time where I'll be interviewing this kooky alien named Hadakou! Untill next time,keep looking up! (cue theme music)

Naruto: Why Kakashi-sensei? (looking up)

Kakashi: (sighs) Not you Naruto...

Sasuke: What a loser!

Taking another break 'cause he's not really interviewing Hadakou (fooly cooly) so send in suggestions on who do You, yes you, want Kakashi to interview! I'll choose the best suggestion after 1 week starting monday, dec. 11, so get to reviewing!


	6. IGPX killr noob

Hi! It's time for "What's the Deal" this time brought to you by killr noob! For his suggestion of the guys from IGPX! Enjoy!

It's "What's the Deal?" with Kakashi Hatake. (Cue music)

Kakashi: Hello everyone. Welcome to another addition, which I guess means that we're still not canceled. (Crowd cheers) We have some big stars today. Please welcome Takashi Gin, Liz Ricardo, Amy Stapleton, and Luca. (Crowd erupts)

Random girl in audience: I LOVE YOU, TAKASHI!

Takashi: Uh, thanks.

(They sit down)

Takashi: Let's get on with the questions. (t: Naruto asks 'Do you like ramen?')

Naruto: Do any of you like ramen?

Everyone: (w: _sigh_)

Liz: I love all Chinese food.

Naruto: Hey! It's Japanese, not Chinese! Believe it!

Liz: OK, sorry.

Jaraiya: So, Takashi. You and Fontene had quite the relationship. Did you ever…huh huh? (Raises eyebrows suggestively)

Takashi: What? No way.

Liz: Besides, he couldn't land anyone THAT well.

Takashi: What's that supposed to mean?

Liz: Oh, come on, Takashi. We all know that you couldn't bag one girl if you tried.

Takashi: OH, REALLY?

Amy: Please stop fighting, you guys.

Luca: Meow.

Takashi: Fine.

Liz: Whatever.

Sakura: So, do you two have any feelings for each other?

Takashi and Liz: What? No way.

Kakashi: Oh, really? Well we actually have a clip that may shed some light on this. Kiba, please play clip #3-7.

Kiba: You got it. Go ahead Akamaru.

Akamaru: Yip. (Pushes tape in)

(Sorry IGPX fanatics, but this next piece has to be done)

Takashi and Liz are seen in a closet making out. Takashi is reaching down to remove Liz's shirt.

Kakashi: I think that's enough.

Video stops.

Takashi (furious): WHERE DID YOU GET THAT VIDEO?!

Liz (equally furious): THAT'S FRAUD. I'D NEVER MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE SO DULL!

Takashi: WHAT? Well you're not the brightest rose either.

Amy: Please stop.

Akamaru spots Luca. Akamaru starts chasing Luca around the stage as Takashi and Liz continue to fight.

Amy: GET AWAY FROM LUCA!

Luca kicks Akamaru through the backdrop to protect Luca.

Everyone: _Gasp_

Kiba: You just kicked my dog.

Liz: Amy? Are you alright?

Kiba: I'll kill you for that!

A small brawl breaks out. Takashi breaks Kiba's nose and Kiba trashes Amy's arm.

Liz: You're going to regret doing that.

Liz and Takashi push buttons on their watches. The roof is suddenly lifted off by two towering mechs that proceed to destroy the building.

Kakashi (still calmly in his seat): Well, that's about it for today. Tune in next time, if there is a next time. Bye bye, neighbor! (Cue music)

Ant that's the show! Thanks killr noob for the suggestion. (again, this is his idea, I did nothing) Review!


	7. Sakura & Ino

It's baaaack. And better that ever! It's "What's the Deal!" Thanks for being patient, writer's block is a pain!

It's "What's the Deal" with your host, Kakashi Hatake, (cue theme music) where we find out "What's the deal" with some of the craziest people around! (crowd cheers as Kakashi waves to them, seated on the stage next to two empty seats)

Kakashi: Hi, everybody!

Crowd: Hi, Kakashi-sensei!

Kakashi: heh, you guys are great. But guess what-

Naruto: What, you're cancelled? NOOO!

Kakashi: No, but there wasn't anybody I could book today, so...improv! Give me an idea.

Ebisu: Bra-and-panty match!

(no idea how to spell his name) The Frog hermit: Yeah! Wait-naked mud wrestling using all of the kunoichi!

Choji: Eating contest! (bites into a cinnamon roll)

Shikamaru: Let's go to sleep. (lay on Hinata's lap and falls immeadiately to sleep)

Hinata: Uhh...move, please.

Kakashi:...all of those are bad ideas. I got it-

Kiba: (backstage singing loudly with Akamaru barking the melody) Armageddon! Let the light in! Before we say goodbye, give us something to believe in! Armageddon!

Kakashi: (super confused) Sakura, Ino, get up here.

Sakura&Ino: Yes sir. (walked up stage and sat in the seats)

Kakashi: Alright, someone wake up Shikamaru.

Shikamaru: ZZZ...what? Leave me alone!...Why do I have to get up?...Fine.

Kakashi: And...action! Hello and welcome to the show! Here we have with us today are two lovely kunoichi who go by the names of Sakura and Ino! (crowd cheers) Hey girls.

Sakura: Hello.

Ino: Hi there!

Kakashi: So, let's begin-

Naruto: I know what we could do for a show! Let's compare ramen! My favorite is Miso flavor-

Sasuke: Shut up. Can you leave me alone?

Ino: Well tell Sakura that you always loved me.

Sakura: Well tell Ino that you were always mine!

Kakashi: Uhh...next question.

Neji: This is stupid.

Kakashi: Oh really, well I know how to spice things up. Tell me, aren't you two known as the "Rumor Girls"?

Sakura: Yeah, but how did you know?

Kakashi: It was a rumor going around. Why don't you "share a story" with us.

Sakura: Well, it's rumored that Naruto eats nothing but ramen and milk.

Neji: And?

Ino: Well, it's been passed around that Choji weares underwear on his head to get it into that shape.

Choji: (bitin nto a huge mint chocolate-chip pop-tart) I do not!

Neji: This is so BORING! C'mon! Dish out the dirt already!

Ino: Ok, I bet the Hokage's wondering about the pile of crap n his lawn every morning. (backstage-Kiba: Holy crap! Run, Akamaru!)

Hokage: Yes, tell us.

Sakura: Who else has a dog around here?

Hokage: Kiba, you could at least have the curtisy to clean it up. I stepped in it once!

Kiba: Yes sir. (saw Akamaru taking a wee pee on the Hokage's grandson) No... Akamaru! (trying to hold back his laughter)

Neji: This is stupid. I think I'll take a nap too, Shikamaru.

Sakura: Ok, but don't forget your "special pants"!

Neji: What's that sussposed to mean?

Sakura: Shall we sing it for you?

Neji: I don't know what you're talking about!

Sakura&Ino: _Neji may be smart, you may think he's better, but everyone should know hat he's a bed wetter!_

Neji: (blushing so hard his whole face is red) I...I am not!

Sakura&Ino: Bed wetter! Bed wetter! Bed wetter!

Neji: (getting pissed-pun intended) I am NOT a bed wetter!

Naruto&Sasuke: Ha ha! Bed wetter! Bed wetter!

Rock Lee: That has got to be embarassing.

Neji: (trying to hide his tears) Shut up! I am...I am not!

Kakashi: Alright, alright. Leave Neji alone. So what if he pisses himself whn he's asleep?

Neji: (tears rolling down his cheeks) I thought you were helping!

Kakashi: I'm sure everyone has an embarassing secret.

Ino: Like the fact that you sleep with a stuffed toy pi-

Kakashi: That's enough of the rumors. Any questions?

Shikamaru: Why won't you let me go to sleep?

Kakashi: Because this isn't the sleeping show.

Tenten: Umm...okay! Why are you guys fighting over Sasuke?

Sakura&Ino: Because he's MINE!

Naruto: But what about that guy over there? (pointed to the silver-haired god, Riku, who just stepped into the studio)

silence

Ino: Hey Sakura? I've thought about it and I think you should get Sasuke. I mean, he is in your ninja cell and everything-

Sakura: Oh no, you're not taking him from me!

Ino: I'm trying to be nice, skank!

Sakura: Rarrgh! (jumped on Ino and started to fight) You COW!

Ino: You Billboard Brow! (fought back)

Riku: (looking confusd) Uhh, this isn't the E3 convention, is it?

Temari: What's your name?

Riku: (looking even more confused) Riku.

Sakura&Ino: RIKU!!! (charged toward him)

Riku: Crap! (ran out getting closely chased by the girls)

Kakashi: (sweat drop) Well, there goes my guests. (t: I'm gonna get fired for sure!) Tune in next time where I'll interview someone nastier than Orochimaru, Naraku! Untill then, bye,bye, BOO! (cue theme music)

Naruto: Hey, look at Neji! He's wetting his pants right now, ha ha! Neji: (looked down to see a growing wet spot on his shorts) Why ME!!! (ran into a corner, rocking back and forth in the fetal position sucking his thumb, wet spot growing ever larger)

I hope you liked, review please!

_Neji's strong, Neji's mean, he be eating Pork 'n Beans!-_quote from one of my friends, he's funny.

Don't ask about the quote, he's funny like that.

Now for a quote of my own: _I don't show condolencs; mercy is for the weak.-_Dante

I know what you're thinking, that's not my name. It's one of my character's names. Here's a description of the three main characters:

Tristan: (male) 24 yrs.Orange spiky hair sorta like Timmy Turner's (fairly odd parents), 6'7, blue eyes, pointed ears and a furry, brown monkey's tail. Fire wolf demon. (the tail is really a wolf's tail, but he shaves it to conceal his idenity) Current money at 61,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 yen. (lives in Tokyo)

Cocky, like, uber-powerful and he knows how to use his powers, baby! Competitive and talks WAY too much. His goofy and easy-going manner conceals the fact that he knows things that are incredibly...

Kaiva: (female) 6 yrs. (at start of story), orange-red long hair with bangs, 5'9 pale purple eyes and elfin ears. Fire wolf demon.

Younger twin sister to Tristan (the age difference is explained in the story) fraturnal twins.

A kind, loving little girl who's life ends short by...

Dante: (male) 30 yrs. Black, sleeked down straight. (usually bushy and wild) 7'0, golden yellow eyes, a bushy, long tail (similar to Tristan's) and VERY long ears (each one esimated to be 4'9) Dog demon.

A surly, dark man with a low tolerance for bullcrap. Holds a dark secret that he protects with his life. Very loyal, but becomes uncontrollable when...

And that's my brief description. If you want me to start a story with them, send me a message at my e-mail

k. (no capitals or spaces)

If you don't, send me a message at the above address explaning why not. I'll tally up the messages and I'll continue from there.

Also, if you want extra info on the above characters, send me a message at the above address and I'll give you all of the info nedded.

Note that I also have 50 other characters, so hey! Just ask!

Continue the lookout for more "What's the Deal" interviews!


	8. Naraku

Here's something I needed to do a while back.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or Naraku. I just own my imagination and the crazy things the characters will be doing.

"What's the Deal" with the big man on campus, Kakashi Hatake! (cue theme music) With special guest, Naraku, who shall be taking part in our $50,000 question round! (crowd cheers as Kakashi walks in)

Kakashi: Wow, this is great. 7 shows and I'm still not cancelled. This calls for a celebration. I'll teat everyone to ramen-

All: Yeah!  
Kakashi: IF you can guess who my next guest is. And I'll only accept the first guess.

Choji: That's easy. (putting down the enormous chicken leg he was eating) The announcer always says the next guest before the show. It's-

Naruto: Me! (runs on the stage) I'm the next guest! Where's the ramen?

All: NARUTO!!!  
Kakashi: No. Wrong. You lose. And thanks to Naruto's ignorance, everyone has to run around the practice field 500 times.

Naruto: Oops. Sorry. (walks off the stage to avoid all of the angry stares of the audience)

Kakashi: Now to welcome our guest, Naruto- I mean Naraku! (crowd claps as Naraku walks in and takes a seat) Welcome to the show!  
Naraku: Let's get this over with. You wanted to ask me some questions-

Naruto: Where's Neji? (crowd starts to laugh)

Kakashi: Boy sit down! If Neji doesn't want to come, he doesn't have to.

Kankuro: I know why, he's afraid he might "lose control"!

Naraku: Could we get on with this. I have other things to do.

Dosu: Are you able to produce a magnetic flux inducor with the capability and capacity of 9 atomic matrix ions, which can distort time and space and lead an external rift in the time space continuim?

Naraku: Of course I can. Any one can do it as long as you know the equation that applies to the aeon infidentium, which will allow me to rip time and space by molecularly changing the DNA particles found in the molecules constantly floating around us as we speak. Next question.

Silence

Naruto: Do you pee in the bed?

Sakura: NARUTO! Shut up!  
Naraku: If I hear your voice again, I'll kill you. Next question.

Gaara: Kakashi, I thought you said he was nastier than Orochimaru.

Kakashi: Well, if you wish to see it. Kiba, show Clip-

Naraku: No need. I was getting rather uncomfortable. (stood up)

Kakashi: Wait! I don't think-

And then Naraku showed his true self, including all of the mass of demons he's absorbed, al of the slimy, protruding, pulsating entity that is Naraku. (mind you, he kept his upper body)

Naraku: Quite frankly, I think I look better than all of you.

Kakashi: (looking at Gaara, who's throwing up) See what you did. (sighs) Any more questions?

Naruto: Why-nevermind.

Naraku: Better shut up.

Ino: I heard that you were InuYasha's sworn enemy.

Naraku: True, but don't worry. He will soon be a part of me. (crowd: Eww!)

Kakashi: Can you put yourself back together?

Naraku: No.

Kankuro: Why not?

Naraku: Because I don't want to. Wanna make something of it?

Kankuro: No.

Kakashi: Right. So, besides InuYasha, who is after you?

Naraku: Countless people; I do have a reputation.

Choji: Unhh...(puts down the chicken leg he was eating) looking at that guy made me lose my appetite.

All: What?!?

Ino: You must be powerful to stop him from eating.

Sasuke: Or real ugly. (a sound like a cannon erupted)

Kakashi: Ok! You know what that means, it's time to see if you could win a chance to win a chance to win $50,000! Let's begin, shall we? 1. If you've absorbed a thousand demons, that means you have a thousand openings, right?

Naraku: What?

Kakashi: Basically you can get yourself pregnant.

Naraku: Yes.

Kakashi: 2. Have you done yourself?

Naraku: Yes.

Kakashi: I don't think I want to continue. 3. Do you have a car?

Naraku: No.

Kakashi: Do you want a cookie?

Naraku: Get on with it!

Kakashi: Well excuse me, princess! 5. If you had a chance to absorb InuYasha or Sesshomaru, who would you choose?

Naraku: Hmm...InuYasha.

Kakashi: 6. Are you sure you want a cookie?

Naraku: No. I. Don't. Want. A. Cookie. (glaring at Kakashi with the utmost fury)

Kakashi:7. (t: I knew it was coming) Do you like ramen?

Naraku: No. (Naruto: What?!)

Kakashi: 8. You sure you don't want a cookie?

Naraku: NO! (tentacles flailing)

Kakashi: Ha! That means you do! (saw Naraku's expression) Heh, next question. 9. Got it memorized?

Naraku: Got what memorized?

Kakashi: You can't answer a question with a question! You lose! (threw a brick at Naraku, which missed and exploded into 5 bunnies) Ha ha ha! I'm drunk. Let's go eat sushi. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (jumped off of the stage and landed face first, instantly going to sleep)

Naraku: (looking confused) ... ... ...

Sakura: Kakashi-sensei?

Kakashi: ZZZZZZ snoreZZZZZZZsnoreZZZZZZ (still sleeping)

Sasuke: (started to poke Kakashi with a stick)... ... ...(poke)... ... ...He won't wake up. (poke)... ... ...(poke)... ... ...This is fun. (poke)... ... ...(poke)... ... ...(poke) (dude backstage: Who's gonna sign off?)

Kiba: I'll do it! (dude backstage: Read this) Ok. Well, that's it for today! Tune in next time where I'll be interviewing the heroes of light and dark, Sora and Riku! Until then, keep this in mind: Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you fart! (dude backstage: That wasn't on the cue card...)

Sakura&Ino: Riku's coming? YEAH!  
Kiba: Whoops. Oh well, BYE! Cue theme music. ... ... ... ... ...Where's the music? (dude backstage: Turn it on!) Oh! (theme music turned on)

Sasuke: Heh heh (poke)... ... ...(poke) Heh heh heh (poke)... ... ... (poke)... Heh heh heh.

Sakura: Stop poking him!

Yeah, Kakashi says ZZZZZZ when he's asleep and drunk at the same time. AND?

Reviews make me smile and when I smile, you smile.


	9. Sora & Riku

I only have two days left! NOOOOO! (basically the last two days for me to be on fanfiction until after the christmas holidays) Again, (takes deep breath) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(cough)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(cough)OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Whoa, I haven't done this in a while. I thought at least you all would have the common sense to acknowledge the fact that I don't own Naruto, the characters from Naruto or the characters from Kingdom Hearts. Please apply this message to any and all of my interviews: I don't own anything. If I did, things would be screwed up, let me tell you.

It's "What's the Deal?" with your host, Kakashi! (cue theme music) Where today he'll be finding out, "what's the deal" with the heroes of light and darkness, Sora and Riku! (crowd cheers as Kakashi walks in and waves to the crowd)

Kakashi: Good afternoon, everyone. Today's episode is brought to you by "Demetrick's Honey Buns" If it's not one of Demetrick's, it's not a honey bun.

Choji: They're the best! (bites down on a huge Demetrick honey bun)

Kakashi: Due to certain circumstances, we had to chain up some people.

Sakura: (chained up along with all of the other kunoichi) Is Riku here yet? Is he coming?

Ino: Is it true that you're interviewing him? (girls ask in approval)

Kakashi: ... ... ... Yes. (girls screamed in happiness) And that's why we're going to welcome-

Naruto: Wait!  
Kakashi: Yes?

Naruto: You forgot to tell us the good news and the bad news.

Rock lee: And that you're not cancelled.  
Kakashi: Excuse me. Good news, I'm not cancelled! (crowd cheers) The bad news, as long as I'm doing the show, I can't drink. And Sasuke?

Sasuke: Yes?

Kakashi: How about I poke you repeatedly with a stick? Would you like that?

Sasuke: No.

Kakashi: On that note, let's bring out Sora and Riku! (crowd cheers, especially the girls. But when only Sora walked out, they stopped)

Hinata: Umm...Kakashi-sensei?  
Kakashi: Yes?

AG: Where is HE!!!  
Kakshi: Kiba if you would.

Kiba: Rightie-O, Mr. Kakashi-spearie O! (he turned the screen on to show Riku's sillhouette in a disclosed area)  
Riku: (voice disguised) I had to take precautions.

AG: WHAT?!?

Kakashi: You really didn't think I'd allow you girls to go wild again, do you?

Sora: Heh heh, they're gonna be mad. (t: If they even THINK about MY Riku, I'll KILL them!)

Kakashi: Let's open the floor for questions-

Orochimaru: Whoops. Looks like I'm not supposed to be in here.

Kakashi: No your not.

Orochimaru: Ok, ok I'll leave. But I'm sure you girls would like to hear this.

AG: What?  
Orochimaru: That R-

Kakashi: Good-BYE! (pushed him out) Alright, maybe now we can start-

Orochimaru: He's backstage!  
Riku: (t: Crap)

Kakashi: (t: Dammit!)  
AG: RIKU!!! (struggling to get free)

Kakashi: Look, in order to get on with the show, Riku will come out (Riku: What?!) but only if you all behave. Got it-

Sora: Memorized? (odd loks form everyone) Man, now he's got me saying it.

Kakashi: ... ... ... ... Ok, Riku come out.

Riku: (peeking on the stage) Is it...safe?

Kakashi: Yes, they won't do anything.

Riku: (walked onto the stage and sat next to Kakashi)... ... ...Hi.

AG: Riku! (sighed lovingly)

Kakashi: (t: Well, that wasted 30 minutes) Finaly, welcome to the show!  
Sora: Cool place.

Riku: Yeah. (girls sighed again)

Kakashi: Any questions? (t: Here's Naruto.)

Naruto: What's your favorite-

Temari: Riku, did it hurt? (Naruto: Hey you cut me off!)  
Riku: Huh? Did what hurt?  
Temari: When you fell from the heavens, my beautiful prince.

Ino: YOUR prince! He's MINE!  
Kakashi: Girls-

Hinata: Don't make me hurt you!  
Sakura: Oh please, you couldn't even beat your pissin' cousin!  
Kakashi: That's it. Take all of the girls out.

AG: But-

Kakashi: Now.

As the girls are escorted out, Sora is trying to contain his anger.

Kakashi: As you were saying, Naruto?  
Naruto: I was gonna ask something else, but now I wanna know why is he so mad?  
Sora: (vein pulsing on temple, teeth bared) Mad? Me? I'm not mad. What for? Everything's fine.

Riku: You're jealous.

Sora: What? Jealous? Me?

Riku: Don't try to hide it. Everyone should have figured it out by now.

Sasuke: Earlier, Kakashi said that you were the heroes of light and darkness. Explain.

Sora: I control the light, Riku controls the dark. By that I mean he has powers of darkness and being able to control the heartless and whatnot, and I have powers of light such as being able to lock people's hearts and do magic (took out his keyblade and shot a Bizzara spell into the air, sending snowflakes on the set and crowd, making the crowd cheer)

Choji: (On his eight honey bun) What's a heartless?

Riku: This. (snapped his fingers and a Fat Bandit appeared on the stage)

Kiba: It's Chiji's daddy! Ha ha!  
Choji: Daddy? Hey-shut up!

Riku: It's different variations, but the two basic ones are Shadows (made a Shadow appear) and Neoshadows (then a larger form onf a Shadow appeared) Usually they're uncontrollable, but I have total control. You can come up and get a closer look if you want.

As some of the ninja go to look, Orochimaru comes back.

Orochimaru: Mind if I take a look-

Naruto: (petting a Shadow) Cause it's in a book.

All: On Reading Rainbow!  
Orochimaru: What was that?

Kakashi: It means no.

Orochimaru: Well, fine then. I'll just let the girls back in-

Kakashi: Ok, you can look.

Orochimaru: Heh heh heh. (walked toward the Neoshadow)

Shino: So, (looking at the Fat Bandit) What can this one do?  
Riku: Breath fire.

Rock Lee: Whoa!  
Kiba: Hey, I wanna see!  
Shikamaru: Can you make any more?  
Riku: Yeah. (summoned a Soldier, Powerwild, and a Crimson Jazz)

Naruto: Cool!  
Sora: (t: It's a good thing they didn't bring up the "other subject")

Kakashi: Oh looks like we're all out of time! (crowd: Oh man!) And we didn't learn that much about them either. (Sora: Yes!) And that's why next time we're gonna have a special report from the Anbu Black operatives. We are gonna get to the knitty gritty about these two, and maybe go a little into their love lives. (Sora: What?!?) Until next time, keep looking at the stars, and we'll "share a story" with ya! (cue theme music)

A?N: I still don't know what the theme music sounds like. (shrugs shoulders) Oh well.

Review please!


	10. Special Report Sora & Riku

If you like Bakura, Marik and all of their stupidity, then check out the story I will start on entitled "It all started in Wal-Mart", coming to a Fanfic near you! Watch for it. And now for your featured presentation...

It's a special report-"What's the Deal?" with your host, Kakashi Introducing special guest, Anbu Black operative, No. 26, here to relay info on Sora and Riku! (cue theme music)

Kakashi: Hello and welcome. Today, we'ree here to find out "what's the deal  
" with our last guests, Sora and Riku, thanks to our field expert, Anbu Black op. No. 26. Let's bring him out. (a cloud of smoke, then No. 26 appeared.)

No. 26: Hello, Kakashi.

Kakashi: Did you have a safe trip back?

No. 26: Somewhat. Some "sasquatch" of a man attacked me while I was on the mountains because I wouldn't tell him my birthday.

Kakashi: Really. Well whenever your ready. Let's start with Sora.

No. 26: He's ...an interesting one. Very powerful if provoked. Yet he seems like a slacking, lazy young man. Fighting isn't his way to blow off steam.

Kakashi: But Riku's the opposite.

No. 26: Not necessarily. Yet, they have their differences. Sora's light, Riku's dark. Riku's a lady-killer, Sora, not so much. Sora would play video games, Riku would lift weights. Even with all of their differences, they are the best of friends.

Kakashi: I wonder why.

No. 26: They say opposites attract.

Kakashi: That is true. What about their school grades?  
No. 26: Riku's a straight A student, Kairi makes A's and B's, but isn't that good in Physical Education and Sora...well, let's just say he set a new record.

Kakashi: For what?  
No. 26: For getting a negative grade. Look. (pulled out Sora's latest report card, which is as folows: Social Studies-B+, Art-C, P.E-B-, Biology-C+, Health-A-, English-C-, and Algebra 2-F-3 (since I can't do exponents, read this: F minus to the third power)

Kakashi: Oh my damn! Whoops- I mean, an F-?

No. 26: To the third power.

Kakashi: How? Doesn't he know the procedures?

No. 26: Apparentely his mind can't comprehend the facts of equations and variables.

Kakashi: My da-almost said it again. (heh heh) On that note, let's get to the knitty gritty.

No. 26: Their personal life? Where to begin?

Kakashi: Does any of them have a relationship?

No. 26: From what I percieve, no. But I can say that Sora wishes he was in a relationship-

Kakashi: With Kairi-

No. 26: With Riku.

Kakashi: You mean, Sora's gay?  
No. 26: Ever since he relized the meaning of love. It's not the fact that he likes all boys, it's only Riku he loves.

Kakashi: Does he likes girls, like a bi-sexual?  
No. 26: Yes, but he'll choose Riku over any girl. He's still in his akward stages, so hopefully he'll grow out it.

Kakashi: Do you have any proof of his obsession?

No. 26: Where to begin? His crown pendant contains a picture of Riku, His room is coverewd in pictures of Riku, he has a shrine in his closet dedicated to Riku, he always loses his temper when another girl talks to Riku besides Kairi and spies on him consatantly. He even stole a pair of Riku's underwear, which was still in use.

Kakashi: You mean-

No. 26: At an incident where Riku was suspended on a flagpole by his boxers, which ripped. Sora saw an opportunity and got them.

Kakashi: And how do you know this?

No. 26: This (he held up a red book about the size of the 4th, 5th, and 6th Harry Potter books combined) is Sora's journal. A day-by-day account of Sora's life from the age of 9. He's a very prominent writer, but I can say that he did have one good experience.

Kakashi: Explain.

No. 26: It's better if I show you. I took the liberty of filming this experience.

Kakashi: Kiba, show Clip AB-O #1.

Kiba: Got it.

When the clip started, it showed Sora in this secluded area with cute, funny cave drawings. At that moment when Riku walked in, Sora was muttering to himself.

Sora: Why doesn't he like me. I know I'm weird but he is too and that's what makes him lovable.

Riku: Sora, can we talk?

Sora: Really? You want to talk to me? Oh my god. Oh my god!

Riku: Maybe I should come back.

Sora: No wait, here I come! (checks his reflection in a compact mirror and freshens his breath with some breath spray)

Riku: Hurry up, princess.

Sora: What's up?

Riku: Sora, you're gay. I don't like you. You suck.

Sora: What?  
Riku: You heard me. You suck. I don't want to be friends with you anymore.

Sora: Why are you saying this?

Riku: I told you. You suck-

Sora: Ok, you've established the fact that I'm sucky, but what did I do wrong?

Riku: You don't listen. You're gay. You're not suspposed to like me. Two boys don't mix. Look at yourself. (held up a mirror) You're a disgrace.

Sora: But- (started to cry)

Riku: Sora, you suck. I never want to see you again. Just give me my $30.

Sora: But you said-

Riku: Riku: You suck, Sora. I want my money. Give it to me. Give it to me now.

(No. 26: Pause it. I need to clarify. Riku is just trying to get Sora not to like him. He was still going to be his friend but those words he just said, "Give it to me, give it to me now" gave Sora the wrong meaning. Unpause it.)

Sora: (started to twitch) Unhhhhhh...

Riku: S...Sora, are you okay?

Sora: (twitching uncontrollably) Unhhhhhh...

Riku: Why are you looking at me like that?

Sora: (twitching, eyes started to roll to the back of his head and he started drooling as he walked toward Riku) Unhhhh...

Riku: Sora...stop playing! (Sora grabbed Riku's shoulders) Sor...Sora no...(Sora turned Riku around, preparing to do his deed) No Sora! (he pulled down his pants and Riku's as well) No Sora, NOOOOO!! (No. 26: Speed up the tape 2 minutes)

Now the screen shows Sora on top Riku, sweating and out of breath.

Riku: S...Sora...you violated me..

Sora: Riku, I'm...sorry...I don't...know...I...couldn't control...myself...

Riku: Get the heck off of me! What is wrong with you? I am NOT GAY!!!  
Sora: You...you said..."Give it to me"-

Riku: I meant my money, which is now $100. Give me THE MONEY.

Sora: What did I do-nevermind, here. (handed Riku the $100)

Riku: Sora, I hate you. We're no longer friends and if you ever speak of this, I **WILL KILL YOU.** I don't ever want to see you again, got it!  
Sora: Uh-huh. (starts to cry) (No. 26: End tape)

Kakashi: Oh...my...god. Ha! You thought I would say "Damn"! Wait, damn-whoops.

No. 26: ... ... ...As you can see, Sora got...excited. Don't worry, after about a month, Riku got over it and forgave him, for a fee.

Kakashi: So Riku knows that Sora likes him?

No. 26: Yes, and to this day, Riku, Donald, and Goofy are still trying "Operation: De-gayify".

Kakashi: Really? Sora still likes Riku, doesn't he?  
No. 26: Unfortunately, yes.

Kakashi: Well, what about Riku? Anything embarassing or secretive about him?

No. 26: The only thing I could find about him was that he likes chocolate.

Kakashi: That's it? I would think-

No. 26: It's worse than you think. Please show Clip AB-O #2.

Kiba: Check!

This time, the screen shows the trio in their school lunchroom. The day: Valetine's Day.

Kairi: Riku, are you sure that you don't want to go to the Valetine's Ball?  
Riku: Tch. What for? If I go alone or even with someone, the girls (and some guys) would be all over me.

Sora: We could all go as friends.

Riku: I'd rather not. ( a girl named Natalie walked up to Riku)

Natalie: Riku...w-w-would you go to the dance with me? (held up a bouquet of flowers and a large box of chocolates)

Riku: (staring at the box of chocolates) Wha...what are those?

Natalie: Milk and white chocolates with fudge in the middle. I made them myself.

Sora&Kairi: Uh-oh. (grabbed Riku)  
Natalie: Hey what are you doing?  
Kairi: Uhh...

Riku: Wait. (got them off) I'm ok. It's not like I'm gonna go ballistic or anything.

Sora: You sure?

Riku: Positive. Sorry Natalie, I'm not going to the dance.

Natalie: Oh. Well, could you at least try the chocolate?

Riku: Uhh...I don't-

Natalie: Please? (taling a piece out) Just pne?  
Riku: No, I don't want-

Natalie: Please? (put it into his mouth)  
S&K: No!

Natalie: What, is he allergic?  
Just then, Riku grabbed the box and started eating the chocolate rapidly.

Sora: Riku stop!  
Riku: (after pouring the remainder into his mouth, e got this nsane grin on his face) Heh...heh heh...That's good. These are great. You know what, I want some more.

Natalie: Well, I can make some more for you-

Riku: (started shaking her) HOW LONG?!?  
Kairi: No!  
Natalie: I-can-make-them-tomorrow-

Riku: DAMMIT! (threw her to the ground)  
Kairi: Control yourself! You're not suspposed to have it anyway!  
Riku: Shut up! (punched Kairi) More...give me MORE! Mwa ha ha ha ha !!! (ran into the kitchen)  
Sora: Kairi, are you okay?  
Kairi: (rubbing her face) Uh-huh, just get Riku!  
In the kitchen

Lunchlady #1: Boy, get out of here!  
Riku: (Wielding a frying pan with a crazed look in his eye) I'll ask you again. Where is the chocolate?  
Lunchlady #2: Gone now, get-

Riku: Where is it?! (smacked the 2nd lady) Tell me, dammit!  
Lunchlady #1: Ok, ok, it's in the back.

Riku: YES! (whacked the 1st lady and ran in the back)

Sora: (just ran in to see the ladies laid out) Oh man, where did he-

Riku: (in the back) It's the motherload!  
Sora: Oh man, Riku, STOP! (ran in the back to see that Riku has already eaten 1/3 of the total chocolate cakes they were to give out at lunch that day. (approx: 123 he's eaten)

Rik: They've been holdin' out on me, well NOT ANYMORE! Ha ha ha ha !

Sora: Riku don't do this! (grabbed the cake that Riku was about to eat)  
Riku: Dammit Sora, butt out! (tried to take it back)

Sora: (grabbed Riku and pinned him to the ground) Look at yourself, you've got chocolate all over your face!  
Riku: I do? (started to lick his lips and all around his mouth)

Sora: Stop! Now when I get off of you, what are you gonna do?  
Riku: (still licking his mouth) Uhh...go eat some more?  
Sora: No.

Riku: Uhh...leave the lunchroom?  
Sora: Yes. (got up)

Riku: I'm sorry. (started to walk out but ran back in and started to eat some more)

Sora: Riku-NO! (No. 26: Stop tape)

Kakashi: Whoa. Didn't see that coming.

No. 26: Never would have expected Riku to go crazy like that, would you?  
Kakashi: Well that about wraps up the special report. Thanks for coming, No. 26.

No. 26: No problem. (vanishes)

Kakashi: Tune in next time where I'll be interviewing the King of Games himself, Yugi Mutou! See ya later, Sayonara! (cue theme music)


	11. Yugi Mutou

Hey, new edition! Hopefully you already know that I don't own Yugioh nor Naruto 'cause they're made up by Kazuki Takahashi and Masashi Kishimoto and the fact that (t) and (t: yadda yadda) means the dude is thinking and the same with whispering just replace the t with w. Well, now (m) and (m: yadda yadda) means mumbling! Got it memorized?

It's "What's the Deal" with your main man, Kakashi Hatake! (cue theme music) Where we find out "What's the deal" with some of the most crazed people out there! On today's show, the Copycat ninja will have a little question session with the King of Games himself, Yugi Mutou! (crowd cheers as Kakashi walks onto the stage)

Kakashi: What's been happening? What d'you know? Let's go ahead and start the show! (crowd cheers) Good news, I'm not cancelled! (crowd cheers and claps) Bad news, one of the heartless that Riku conjured is now under the control of Orochimaru, so if you see it, please, please kill it if you can. Ah well, today's guest is a very special one, and I got a clue as to who he is. (holds up a card, which is the famed Dark Magician) Who ever guesses it right gets a prize!  
Temari: Is it Kabuto?  
Kabuto: I have information cards, not childish toys. (backstage: A bright glow and a muffled "What?!?")

Kiba: (backstage) I know! I know! It's-

Naruto: It's Obvious! Right?

Kakashi: I think you mean "Obelisk", but no.

Sasuke: Yugi Mutou.

Kakashi: Correct! You win Naruto as your slave for a day! (Naruto: What!) How did you guess?  
Sasuke: The announcer said it before the show. (Kakashi: Finally, someone listens!)

Neji: Naw, you knew because you play the retarded game.

Kakashi: Still messin' with people, MC Pee Pants?  
Neji: (m) I'll shut up.

Kakashi: Anyway, let's bring hhim out! (crowd claps as Atem comes and sits next to Kakashi) (t: I thought he was shorter) Welcome to the show!

Atem: They said that if I answer a few questions, I get a Pepsi.

Kakashi: Okay, well any questions-

Naruto: Why I gotta be Sasuke's slave?  
Atem: I don't know. That's one.

Naruto: Ok, do you eat shrimp-flavored or oriental-flavored ramen?

Atem: Neither. (Naruto: What!) That's two.

Rock Lee: Why are you counting?  
Atem: Because I'm counting the questions. That's three. Where's my Pepsi?

Kakashi: Uhh-

Sasuke: (stood up and straped on a Duel Disk) Yugi, I...I challenge you to a duel!  
Atem: Hmm, a duel you say? I'll duel you, after I get my Pepsi.

Kakashi: Speaking of Pepsi, where did you get your fetish for Pepsi?  
Atem: Fetish? FETISH! (stood up) I'll show you a fetish! (saw the crowd looking at him, then sat back down) I'm not answering any more questions until I get my Pepsi.

Kakashi: But-

Atem: (stood back up, pointing at random people) If ya'll don't give me my got damn Pepsi, I SWEAR I'll mind crush the next person who say something!  
Gaara: You won't do-

Atem: Mind Crush! (mind crushed Gaara) Who's next?!  
Kakashi: Oh my god! What did you do to him!?  
Atem: (pointed at Kakashi) You wanna get banished!?

Kakashi: Someone...give him a Pepsi, please!

Naruto: Okay! (ran backstage, grabbed a Pepsi and shook it up vigorously) Heh heh, this will be fun! (ran back and gave it to Atem) Here ya go!  
Atem: (instantly calmed down) Thank you. (opened it and it exploded all in Atem's face)

All: NARUTO!!!! (Sasuke: What a loser!)

Atem: (gently put the Pepsi can down, turned to Naruto and pulled out a pocket knife) You 'bout to die. I ain't mind crushing you! I'll kill ya! (advancing on Naruto)  
Kakashi: Stop him!

As two jonin tried to apprehend Atem, he simply Mind crushed the both of them, still advancing on Naruto still saying, "I'll kill you, I'll kill you!

Naruto: Ha! Shadow Clone jutsu! (and ten Narutos surrounded Atem) Try and find the real me!

Atem: Ok. (put the knife up, then spread out his arms to his sides, spinning around yelling out, "Mind Crush!" crushing all of the clones and Naruto) Now where is my damn Pepsi!

Kankuro: All on the ground and on your face-

Atem: Mind Crush! Mind Crush! Mind Crush! (he has temporarily gone insane, crushing every mind in the studio)

Kakashi: Look, a Pepsi! (holding up a fresh, unshaken can)

Atem: Where? Give it to ME!

Kakashi: If I give it to you, will you stop?  
Atem: (held his hand to Kakashi's face) Mind-

Kakashi: Here! (tossed the can to him and dove behind the couch)  
Atem: Yes! (popped the top and drunk the entire can) (calmed down) Thank you. That's all I wanted. I will be leaving now.

Kakashi: But won't you de-mind crush everyone?

Atem: I didn't mind crush anyone. (smiled) You have a nice set. (left)  
Kakashi: (stared at the exit that Atem exited out of, then at all of the mind crushed people) How...how can a little guy do this..Is there anyone that survived? Hinata? Iruka? Kiba?

Kiba: (backstage holding Akamaru) He got Akamaru!!! Noooo!!!! (crying loudly) Why does the good die young!!!  
Kakashi: Did anyone else survive? (a few people got up surveying the scene) Well, I know I'm cancelled now. If there is a next show, I'll be interviewing two born warriors who possess a stronger grudge than Sasuke and his brother, Cloud and Sephiroth! (w: And hopefully we can get everyone's minds back) See ya. ... ... ... ... (w: Kiba, cue the music!)

Kiba: (while playing the music) Akamaru!!! (still crying) (cue theme music)

Heh, Atem gets ghetto when he doesn't get his Pepsi. Review! (I know ya'll tired of me, but I can't help it!)


	12. Cloud and Sephiroth

A note: Before you read this, if you know of Aeris (FF 7) and how she died, then I apoligize for everything Sephiroth says. I felt sorrow myself when I saw it and I mean no disrespect. therichnobody

Disclaimer: Do I own "What's the Deal", yes. Do I own Naruto, no. Nor Cloud nor Sephiroth. Ok? Ok.

Guess what? It's time for "What's the Deal" with Kakashi! (cue theme music) Where he interviews some of the choice people around! (Kakashi sits on the stage waving to the cheering crowd)

Kakashi: Whoa, everyone's here, even Lord Hokage! (crowd cheers in honor) But I'm not interviewing him! Heh heh, no offense sir.

3rd Hokage: None taken.

Kakashi: Good news, I'm not cancelled! (crowd cheers)

Choji: (eating an entire rack of ribs) Kakashi-sensei, do you have to say that at every show?

Kakashi: Choji, must you eat at all of my shows? As I was saying, the bad news, I couldn't get a follow-up review with Joey Wheeler, but at least Atem was nice enough to de-mind crush everyone after the Pepsi incident. But, sadly, my producer's mind was "devoured" by the "shadows" and it can never be retrieved again. (crowd gives moment of silence for the producer)... ... ...Yes, yes, it's a deep loss...but my new producer's Might Guy! Give 'em a hand! (crowd claps)

Guy: (backstage)Aw guys, (moved to tears) thanks for your support! I love you all! (gives thumbs-up)

Kakashi: Heh, lovable Ol' Guy...now introducing Cloud and Seph-

BOOSH.

Cloud went flying through the wall due to a blow from the laughing Sephiroth, who can be seen through the gaping hole in the wall. Before anyone could do anything, Cloud came rushing back with a haymaker punch to the face of Sephiroth, sending him towards the other side of the studio, taking a table with him.

Kakashi: Hey! What the-we'll be right back.

To the home viewers, "We are experiencing techinical diffucluties."

10 minutes later

The two calmed down, both battle-scarred and still glaring at each other. Kakashi sees an opportunity to start back the show.

Kakashi: (sigh) I know it's gonna come up, so what happened?

Cloud: (breathing hard) Well, we were outside like you told us, when HE (glared at Sephiroth) said it.

Kakashi: Said what?

Cloud: HE said...

_Flashback_

Both Cloud and Sephiroth are waiting outside quietly until...

Sephiroth: So...still mourning for that heifer Aeris?

Cloud: ...He started it.

Sephiroth: He came at me. I just asked a simple question when I had to defend myself.

Cloud: (standing up) But you KNEW how I felt for her!

Sephiroth: That's why I asked you.

Kakashi: Cloud! No. (sigh) Any questions?  
Naruto: Cool sword! And uh...who's Aeris?Is she our grandma or somethin-

Cloud: DIE!!! (tries to kill Naruto but is held back by Kakashi)

Kakashi: leave...him alone! Any...other questi-no Cloud! (tackles him)

Neji: Uh...this is for Cloud. Can you fight without your sword?

Cloud: Send the loud boy and I'll DEMONSTRATE!!! (still helb back)

Kakashi: Calm...down! Please!

Cloud: ... ... ...Fine. (slowly got up, mouthed the words "die" to naruto, and sat down)

Shino: Sephiroth-

Naruto: Hey you finally said something!

Sephiroth: Yes?  
Shino: Hurt Naruto for me.

Cloud: (getting up) I'll do it-

Kakashi: No Cloud!

Sephiroth: The only reason he wants to fight is because of that bitch.

Cloud: (glared at Sephiroth) What. Did. You. Say.

Sephiroth: Ok, I have a question. Is that heifer Aeris decomposed at the bottom of that lake or is her whore body still being feasted upon by the inhabitants of that lake?

Cloud: (finally cracked) That's it. (walking towards Sephiroth, cracking his knuckles)

Kakashi: Cloud, no...Cloud-

-For the home viewer: We are experiencing techinical diffculties.

5 minutes later

Kakashi: (shaking his head) (sigh) Cloud...why?  
Cloud: (cracking his bloody knuckles and breathing hard)... ... ...

Kakashi: Cloud... ... ...(sigh) Any questions?

Naruto: Hey Sephiroth, are you ok?

Sephiroth: (black eye, bloody nose, beat the fuck up and basically laid out on the couch out cold) ... ... ...

Naruto: He didn't answer my question!

Sasuke: He got beat to sleep, what do you expect, loser?

Kakashi: Ok, I got a question. Why is "that woman" so important to you?  
Naruto: Her name's Aeris, kakashi-sensei-

Kakashi: Shut up Naruto. Well?

Cloud: ...She was...real special to me...I really can't say.

Kakashi: Understandible-

Cloud: He killed her...when she was completely innocent...she didn't do anything to him... ... ...he had NO reason to!

Kakashi: He did it to get to you. People do that.

Cloud: ... ... ...Bastard.

Kakashi: Well, even though you're enemies, you have to admit he's a good fighter.

Cloud: I...guess.

Kakashi: Same goes for you. Ain't that right, Sephiroth?  
Sephiroth: (still laid out)... ... ...

Kakashi: Well we've run out of time today, so gonna have to cut it short. (crowd: Aw man!) But tune in next time where the brothers of alchemy, Edward and Alphonse Elrich, will here on "What's the Deal"! See ya around! (cue theme music)

Ya'll didn't think it was over that fast, did you? Well, Kakashi thought that since you all been loyal fans, he'd show you what happened _after_ the show...

-Backstage after the show-

Kiba: Man Cloud, you were kicking his ass! Right jab, left hook, uppercut! BAM! Watching that got me and Akamaru all fired up, right Akamaru!

Akamaru: Woof! Woof! (translates to: He kicked his ass!)

Cloud: Uh...thanks.

Naruto: Hey, Mr. Spiky-head! Can I see your sword!

Cloud: No one touches my sword.

Naruto: (trying to hold up Cloud's sword) Man this is heavy, believe it!  
Cloud: (jacks up Naruto against the wall) NO one touches MY SWORD! YOU HEAR-no...you know what?

Kiba: Naruto 'bout to get messed up! Wait a minute, let me leave first! Akamaru! (both left)

Naruto: Hey what did I do?

Cloud: (grabbed Naruto by the head and dragged him to the men's restroom) Sit.

Naruto: Why are we in the rest-

Cloud: SIT!  
Naruto: (sat down) ok.

Once Naruto sat down, Cloud went into a stall and did his "business". (in layman's terms, took the hardest dump Naruto ever heard) When he came out, (mind you he didn't flush) he grabbed Naruto again and took him in the same stall he came out of.

Naruto: Hey I don't wanna go in there! You didn't wash your hands! Hey, (saw Cloud lift up the seat) no...you can't! (is now trying to keep his head out of the commode) NO! NOO! NOOO! NOOOO-(it got dunked in. Cloud forced his head down and kept it down until the bubbles stopped coming)

Cloud: (went out of the stall, washed his hands, and threw Naruto a towel) Clean yourself up. (left)

-On the stage after the show-

Guy: Uh...what should we do with Sephiroth?

Kakashi: Meh, take him backstage or something. The blood is starting to stain the upholstery.

Guy: Right. You two guys, move 'em.

When the two chunin came to get Sephiroth, this is what happened.

Sephiroth:... ... ...CLOUD! (flies upward, yanks out his freakishly long sword which cuts one of the jonin in half upon entry, and bursts through the celing)

Chunin #1: Oh my god, they killed Kenny!

Kakashi: You bastard! (Shaking his fist at Sephroth)

Hope you liked this episode, and I don't own that quote from South Park. Ok? Ok.

Thanks to all reviewers and future reviewers! You made people smile today!


	13. Edward and Alphonse Elrich

Hey! I saw that gaara and itachi's dark angel wanted Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist, so hey, why not? Thanks for the suggestion, (sorry that it was so late I had pre-ideas and now I'm trying to do some more suggestions so keep 'em coming) and enjoy the show!

Hey, ho, whatcha know, it's time for the "What's the Deal" show with Kakashi your host! Holla "What's the Deal" show, stop whatcha doing an' watch Kakashi's show yeah!(cue theme music) This episode, we're gonna enter the world of alchemy with the two bro's, Edward and Alphoonse, the Fullmetal alchemists! (Kakashi walks on the stage as the crowd cheers)

Kakashi: Hello crowd!  
Crowd: Hi host!

Kakashi: Well, I'll let Naruto tell it.

Naruto: Tell what-oh yeah! (stands up, turns around and reads cue card) The...good...news...I'm...not...cance-dash...next card...dash-lled...parenthesis...Applause...parenthesis. What does that mean Kakashi-sensei? (crowd laughs)

Kakashi: (sighs) Naruto, nevermind. Anyway, the bad news, Cloud and Sephiroth are still going at it after running into each other at a bus stop. THe fight has been going on nonstop for three days. (trinity!) Without further ado, let's bring out Edward and Alphonse Elrich! (crowd claps as the two walk in)

Kiba: (backstage) Oh my god! It's the walking suit of armor from my nightmares! Nooo! Get 'em Akamaru!

Akamaru: Woof! Woof! (translates to: That thin gon' step on me, what's wrong with you Kiba?! I mean come on! It's like fifty times my size! But, you're the boss) (charges at Alphonse)

Alphonse: Huh? Hey, look at the cute, little dog-

CHOMP.

Kiba: Uhh...

Al: What did I do?

Edward: Hey! You back there, you sicced your dog n my brother!

Kiba: Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?  
Al: (petting Akamaru who has taken a liking to Al) It's ok Edwqard. You don't have to-

Ed: No, it's not okay! We come on this show and THIS happens! What's next?!  
Kiba: Well if you come to a place you never heard of, you should come better prepared! Akamaru! Akamaru?

Al: He's doing his "business".

Kakashi: Not on the stage, I hope. Look, can I get on with the show? Kiba, get Akamaru. Edward, if you will?  
Kiba&Ed: Fine. (went their seprate ways)

Kakashi: Alright, welcome to the show!

Al: Wow, this place is big.

Kakashi: Yeah well, we try to keep it nice. So, Al, the suit of armor. Is it for protection or do you like wearing it?  
Al: Well, I...kinda need it. In an incident, my body was destroyed and my soul was sealed in here, thanks to my big brother Ed-

Naruto: He's your BIG brother?! But he's shorter than you!

Ed: Hey Orange Boy! What you say!

Kakashi: Uhh...

Naruto: Orange Boy? I'm not a fruit! But I guess you can't see all the way down there-

Al: Edward, don't mind him-

Ed: Oh don't stop me Al! (runs into the crowd) I got you! Come here!

Naruto: Leave me alone! (getting chased by Ed)

Kakashi: Edward has a short fuse, doesn't he?

Ed: (holding Naruto by the collar) Oh, so you're calling me short now! Ok, take this! (throws Naruto at Kakashi)

K&N: Hey no wait!

BAM.  
Al: Oh brother...are you two okay?

Naruto: Ow! That hurt! I'll teach you to throw me! (tries to charge but Kakashi stops him)

Kakashi: Boy, do I need to put you out? Edward, I wasn't calling you short-

Naruto: He was calling you mini-(mouth covered by Kakashi)

Kakashi: Could we please get on with the show? Please Ed? Naruto?

Ed:... ... ... ...Fine. (sat back on the stage as Naruto went back to his seat)

Kakashi: Ok, (sigh) you were saying, Al?

Al:Huh? Oh, well we had a transmuting accident which destroyed my body and took my brother's arm and leg. Then to save me, he sealed my soul in this.

Kakashi: I see, in turn giving you the name, "Fullmetal Alchemist"?  
Ed: No, that's MY nickname.

Naruto: But he's all metal, FULL metal. You're just sho-

Ed: (standing up) Don't say it!  
Kakashi: (sensing danger) Right! So any questions form the audience?

Ino: Um...this is a question for Al. Um, how does it feel to not have a body?

Al: Ummm...

Ed: What kind of question is that?!  
Al: It's okay brother, she just wants to know-

Ed: No it's not okay! It feels like not having a body! Next question!

Rock Lee: Uh, I wanted to know how did you learn to "transmute"?

Ed: Well, it's a long story but mainly 'cause I'm a child prodigy. Next question.

Naruto: Can you teach me alchemy?  
Ed: Certainly not. Next question.

Sasuke: Could you give us a demonstration of you transmuting something?

Ed: Uh...I guess. Someone hand me-oh nevermind, I'll use my chair. How 'bout I turn this chair into a spear.

Kiba: You can't turn that into a spear!

Ed: Shut up! Ok...

Kakashi: (sees Sasuke looking intently with the Sharingan activated) (t: Hmmm...I see your plan, might as well...) (pulls up his headband and invokes his Sharingan)

Ed: Ok...(echoing clap, then transmutes the chair into a spear) See?

Sasuke: Heh, you mean like this? (transmutes his seat into a spear)

Kakashi: No Sasuke, he means like this. (transmutes his chair into a spear)

All: (shocked)

Al: How...how did they-

Ed: (t: Those bastards, think hey can do alchemy. They don't even KNOW the principles! Well, I got them!) Come on Al, let's go.

Kakashi: Huh? But the show's not over-

Ed: The hell it is! (transmutes a giant cannon) I'll teach you to mess with alchemy!!!

Al: No Edward! They didn't mean it!

Kakashi: Edward! Do not shoot the cannon!  
Sasuke: I can do it too-

Kakashi: You better not! Look, we'll stop, just calm down-

Sasuke: Let him shoot it. I'll just teansmute a-

Ed: That's IT! (shot the cannon)

All: NOOO!!!  
BOOOOOOOOM.

When the dust clears, Kakashi sees his demolished stage along with the knocked out people.

Kakashi: Well, there goes another set. (sees a glint of gold) What was that? Oh no-

Al: Edward! (holding the unconsious Ed) What happened to you?  
Kakashi: No, not again! Run! Everyone leave now! (the sound of skates can be heard throughout the studio) Why are you back!?  
CLANK.

Al: Huh? (sees Lil' Slugger looking at his even more dented bat) W-who are you?

Kakashi: Get away form him!  
Lil' Slugger: Hmm...ok. (turned into his big form and hit Al twenty feet away) Heh heh heh...your turn.

Kakashi: Great! Just my lu-aahhh!! (narrowly dodging Lil' Slugger's attacks) Looks like I have to cut it short, but tune in next-(dodging another attack and made 50 clones) time where I'll interview a Hyrulian Warrior who goes by the name of Link! Sayonar-no not that...what IS that?! A black ma-AAAHHHHH!!!

(camera cuts to static)

Yeah, Kakashi said right. Link. Here's you: therichnobody, Link can't talk! All he says is battle grunts! He can't be interviewed! Well guess what-Link's getting interviewed 'cause he's MY NUMBER ONE FAVORITE GAME CHARACTER SO HAH! Besides, I ran this idea by my older brother (by eleven years) Darius (he's cool, helps me with some ideas and Link's his No. 1 favorite game character too! ) and his first response: That's gonna be one boring interview. But give him 5 minutes and he gives me this sweet idea. But I wanna here your feedback before I run it. (mainly your thoughts on the speechless wonder Link)

Thanks in advance!


	14. Link

It's "What's the Deal" with Kakashi! (cue theme music) Where today he'll start off his 3rd season finding out "What's the deal" with the Hyrulian hero, Link! (crowd cheers as Kakashi walks on the stage)

Kakashi: Hey. At least I can say I'm doing great, considering the fact that I had two sets destroyed in two seasons. But good news, I'm not cancelled! (crowd cheers) Also, since the alchemy accident, this is my third set so enjoy it! (crowd cheers even more) But the bad news, well I can't say his name in fear of jinxing myself, so the boy with the golden bat has finally left Konaha but not before taking his aggression out on some poor, innocent people. Anyway, let's bring out our guest, Link! (crowd claps as Link walks on the stage and takes a seat) Welcome to the show.

Link: (looks at Kakashi)... ... ...

Kakashi: Um...ok. So...tell us about yourself.

Link: (stares at Kakashi then looks elsewhere)... ... ...

Naruto: Say something!

Kakashi: Boy hush! (t: Maybe he can't understand me) Um...do-you-understand-the-words-coming-out-of-my-mouth-

Naruto: Hey! Maybe he's mute! Are Helians mute or is it just you?  
Link: Grrrrrrrrr. (pulls out sword)

Kakashi: There's no need for that Link, heh. Naruto, be quiet.

Naruto: But I wanna know-

Kakashi: Be. Quiet. You can...put your sword up now.

Link: Enhh...(puts his sword away)

Kakashi: So...gotta girlfriend?

Link: Nyee! (pulls out a wallet-sized photo)

Kakashi: Oh! My she's pretty. Really pretty, I mean she's nice! What's her name?  
Link: enhee. (flips it over to show the name "Princess Zelda")

Kakashi: Princess Zelda-oh she's a princess!

Link: Mm-hm. (nodding up and down)

Kakashi: Wow, having a princess for a girl. That's cool-

Naruto: So does she speak helian or is she mute like you? (Sasuke: What a loser.)

Link: Nheee... (pulls out sword again)  
Kakashi: Link, put. The. Sword. Down.

Naruto: Well? Is the Helian-

Link: Nhee! (charging the sword up)

Kakashi: It's Hyrulian! Stop disrespecting his people and shut up!

Naruto: Ok, well is the "Hyrulian" mute just like him-

Link: Seiyaaahh! (blasts Naruto with blast from sword)

Naruto: Aaaahh! (knocked back)

Kakashi: Naruto...(sigh) Ok, do you have any other weapons besides that sword?

Link: (looked towards Naruto, then pulls out a number of mini weapons)...

Kakashi: I had a felling you did. Hm? And these are-

Naruto: Hey that hurt! Besides what can those do? You're gonna throw it at someone?

Link: Sei! (grabs a mini bomb, makes it life-sized and lights it on fire)

Kakashi: Please don't throw that! He's not worth-

naruto: Don't worry, it's only a toy-

Link: Seiyah! (threw it)

Kakashi: No! (grabbed it and threw it out the window-where it landed no one knows) Calm down, he'll shut up. he better. Ok, I knew you had a good arsenal. You've got a princess for a girlfriend, hundreds of gadgets, man. You're cool Link.

Link: (nodding and smiing)

Kakashi: Ok, any questions from the audi-

Naruto: He isn't all that-

Kakashi: Naruto!

Naruto: But I got a question this time. Do Heli-I mean (does the finger parenthesis) Hyrulians talk? Do you know how? What about your girlfriend Zigfried or Zelma or whatever it is, can she talk, or is it just you who's mute?  
Link: (glaring at Naruto) ... ... ...

Kakashi: Naruto...

Naruto: You can write it down if you want.

Link: (still glaring at Naruto, pulled out a piece of paper and pen and wrote down a sentence) ... ... ...

Naruto: Hey why is he looking at me? And how is he writing without looking at the paper?

Link: (gave the paper to kakashi to read while still glaring at Naruto)

Kakashi: (reads the paper) It says, "This isn't my character, but if he doesn't cease talking, I will kill the boy in the orange jumpsuit." Oh my, uhh...Naruto I think you should really shut up now-

Naruto: Why? Who's wearing an orange jumpsuit?

Silence

Kakashi: (sigh) What color jumpsuit are you wearing?

Naruto: Huh? (looks at his clothes) Oh! (thinks about it)... ... ... oh. ... ... ...Well, can I ask another question?

Kakashi: No-

Naruto: What do mutes eat?

1 full minute of silence

Link: Seiyaahh! (seizes Naruto and puts him in a standing hold where he can't move and he has a Master Sword up against his neck)

Kakashi: Link no! Calm down, just let him go-

Naruto: Hey let me go!

Link: Hiyah! (pressed the sword against Naruto's throat, causing it to bleed0

Kakashi: Naruto, I advise you not to talk anymore.

Naruto: But he needs-

Kakashi: If there is a time to shut up, now's the time. Please, I know he's annoying, but he is needed sometimes.

Shikamaru: Name one.

Kakashi: Now's not the time. But seriously, he's been through a lot. Cut him some slack.

Link: Seieytt! (charging the blade)

Kakashi: No! he's been through too much! Kiba, show him the clip.

Kiba: Okay. (pops in the tape)

The clip is a bunch of different clips showing the abuse Naruto has suffered throughout the seasons. Orochimaru's taunts, Sesshomaru and Naraku's threats, Lil' Slugger's paranoia hits, Atem's mind crush, Edward's beating and blowing up of, and Cloud's vicious super swirly. Then the clip ends.

Kakashi: You see. Prease, don't do it.

Naruto: (terrified, crying terribly, snot nosed and whimpering) Help me...Kakashi-sensei-

Link: Sei! (pressed the sword even harder causing the wound to bleed and burn more)

Kakashi: If you be quiet I can save you! Link, be reasonable. Put him down-

Link: Heiyah! (pressing it ever deeper while charging the sword to maximum)

Kakashi: Don't kill him! He isn't worth it!

All eyes on Link, who's holding the still whimpering, blubbering Naruto. Then the unexpected happens-

Link: (tightened his grip) You're right.

All: HUH?!?

Link: There's no need to kill him, but I can knock him OUT! (bashes Naruto's head knocking him out) Hmph. (sheats his sword then takes a seat)

Kakashi: ... ... ... ... ... ...Well...ok. Are we getting back to the show? (dude backstage: Uh yeah. I guess.) Um...well, I guess I can ask you this. When you came earlier, you were well, silent. Why are you talking now?

Link: Hmm...well by analyzing the situation, I thought about it. I don't know you all, so there is no threat to me if you know how I sound.

Kakashi: Oh, I see. I really...can't think of anything else, so-

Guy: (backstage) (w) Hey Kakashi, come here for a sec.

Kakashi: Huh? Alright, Kiba keep them occupied.

Kiba: Ok! Come on Akamaru, we'll show 'em our new tricks!

Backstage

Guy: Kakashi, you know that "What's the Deal" is real popular, right?

Kakashi: Yeah, oh wait-Don't tell me that our ratings are down...I'm not...cancelled am I?

Guy: No, that's not it. It's concerning the fact that our ratings are skyrocketing; more and more people are watching.

Kakashi: That's good, right?

Guy: Yeah, but not for Link. (looks on the stage to see everyone Kiba and Akamaru's tricks) He said that it wasn't a threat to him if we did know how he sounded, but we are worldwide! Millions of people just heard his voice! Shouldn't he know?

Kakashi: If I tell him that, he'll kill us!

Guy: If you don't tell him and he finds out, he'll come back and kill us.

Kakashi: Damn, we're screwed either way. (sighs) I guess...(takes a deep breath) I'll tell him. (walks back on stage ducking the oncoming hula hoop) Kiba, you're done.

Kiba: Alright. (grabs the frisbee from Akamaru and the bonzai tree and goes backstage)

Link: He's pretty good.

Tenten: You should have seen the Flying Sofa Cushion Flip Kakashi!

Kakashi: Heh heh. Link, there's something I should tell you.

Link: (smile quickly faded to a seriously look) Yes?

Kakashi: Well there's...um...do you see those cameras?

Link: Wha-(looks around at the cameras then at Kakashi) How many?

Kakashi: It wasn' that many...I mean-

Guy: (backstage giving the thumbs down)

Kakashi: (takes a deep breath) (m) A million.

Link: (in a deathly tone) How many?

Kakashi: ... ... ...A million. ... ...More like...millions.

Link: Mi-mi-_MILLIONS?!? _(pulls out five bombs and started to throw them) RAAAARRGH!!  
Kakashi: Link no! Everyone evacuate!

Hinata: But-but Naruto-

Kakashi: Leave him for now-

Rock Lee: No, LOOK!

Link just grabbed the unconscious Naruto, shot his hookshot out the window and flew out the studio with Naruto.

Sakura: Noooooo!

Kakashi: Naruto...I have to save him!

Guy: Are you crazy! Didn't you see what he's capable of?  
Kakashi: I have to. He's my responsibilty.

Shikamaru: But don't you need backup for that kind of mission?

Kakashi: You're right. (Shikamaru: Crap, now he's gonna take me) Sasuke, Sakura, come on. Shikamaru, take over the show while I'm gone.

Shikamaru: Yeah, I know-huh?

Guy: Kakashi, you can't be serious.

Kakashi: Yes I am. (the three left)

Guy: No way. I guess you can call this "Operation: Naruto".

Shikamaru: More like "Operation: Clown". (sighs) What a drag. (cue theme music)


	15. Shikamaru hostsMugen and Jin

The trilogy begins…While I'm up here…

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or Samurai Champloo or the record scratch they use to bleep out stuff.

It's "What's the Deal" with…Shikamaru! (cue theme music) Where he'll find "What's the deal" with two samurai warrors, Mugen and Jin! (crowd claps as Shikamaru walks on the stage)

Shikamaru: …Uhh…why did I agree to do this? Well, at least it beats having to go save that idiot. Speaking of idiot, don't we have an update on that "Operation: Clown"? (dude backstage: Hey, don't you mean "Operation: Naruto"?) I don't care, just show the clip.

Kiba: Okay…(plays clip)

-Operation: Naruto -

Day 1-Hour 12

Kakariko village

Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke are seen spying outside of a home trying to find any hint on Nartuo.

Sakura: (w) Do you really think that Naruto could be here?

Kakashi: (w) Don't you smell it? The smell of ramen is around here. Look. (pointed to the bound and gagged Naruto hidden in the corner of the room in the house) We have to be silent, just in case he's there.

Sasuke: (w) Maybe he isn't there.

Kakashi: (w) We can't be too sure, so be careful-wait! (sees Link walking into view, listening to the tiniest of sound, then spots the three outside and smirks) Oh no he's found us!

Sakura: What should we do-

CLANK!

Then upon seeing the hook latched to the tree they're in, they look back to see Link flying up to them via hookshot, with Master Sword in hand. With some dodging and careful planning did the three evade Link's attacks.

Sasuke: Unhh! How can we take this guy!?

Sakura: (pulling a kunai) It's three to one, we can beat him! (charged at Link)

Kakashi: No!

Link: Ha! (shot Sakura with a charged magic blast from his sword) You! You betrayed me!

Kakashi: I betrayed you? How?  
Link: You let all of those people hear my voice!

Kakashi: What-

Sasuke: So what? Millions of people heard you talk. And?

Link: Quiet you! (shot an ice arrow, thus freezing Sasuke) I don't like you, Kakashi.

Kakashi: What did I- nevermind, look Link. Just give me Naruto and we'll forget the whole thing.

Link: Not until everyone forgets how I sound! (throws a deku nut and dissapears in the flash along with Naruto)

Kakashi: Where did he go-Oh no…Naruto!!

Then the clip cuts to a scene where Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura are running (similar to how Naruto currently comes on) and ends with the picture of Naruto in Link's chokehold.

Back to the show, Mugen and Jin are seated on the floor of the stage.

Shikamaru: And that's the update. (sigh) Why are they even looking for that clown, I mean do we even need him? Anyway, I have a show to do… … …Uhh…what does Kakashi do anyway? (dude backstage: He tells the good news and bad news of the last show) Why? We already know what happened. Oh forget it, who am I interviewing? (grabs the cue card) Mugen? Is that how you pronounce it? (Mugen looks up) Well I guess you're Mugen and that makes you Jin. Uh, you do know we have chairs for you, forget it. First order of business, who are you? What do you do for a living?… … …Didn't you hear me?… … …Come on-

Mugen: who do you think you're talking to?

Shikamaru: You. You ARE my guest.

Mugen: A samurai.

Shikamaru: That's it?  
Mugen: Well, I go around killing people.

Shikamaru: That's it? I mean, it's wrong. Hey, I'll bite. It's wrong.

Mugen: Ask me if I care.

Shikamaru: Ok, I'll bite again. Do you?

Mugen: No.

Shikamaru: (sigh) How deals Kakashi do this? Ok, you on your knees. You know we have a chair for you, right?

Jin: I'm fine here, thank you.

Shikamaru: Alright-oh. You wear glasses. That's weird, seeing a samurai wear glasses. Are they bifocals? Are you near-sighted or far-sighted or what?

Jin: They're…they're glasses, okay.

Shikamaru: Ok, heh. So do you go around killing people like Mugen over there?

Jin: Only if I need to.

Shikamaru: Whoa, so what brought on this friendship? I mean a selfish, hot-headed-

Jin: Who said we were friends? (pulled out sword)

Shikamaru: Oh man, don't start any of that stuff. Come on, it says on the card that you are friends.

Mugen: Let's get this straight. The only reason I hang out with this (record scratch) is because of a promise made by this stupid girl that found us, got it? I could care less for that (record scratch)

Jin: The feeling's mutual.

Shikamaru: Unhh…what brought on this hatred?

Mugen: You know what, I say we settle this since the girl isn't here. (pulls out sword)

Jin: Fine by me. (stands up and gaces Mugen, sword out)

Shikamaru: Oh come on, why is there always violence on this show? Who picks these people anyway? I'm not breaking this up. (arguing with dude backstage) So what if I don't stop them, they'll kill each other…I don't care! … … …Well why don't you find the girl and make her stop them. … … …I know it's a good idea, so go do it. (watching Mugen and Jin fighting and tearing up the set) hey, this fight is pretty good, watching two samurai go at it. I wonder who's gonna die? My money's on Mugen…Huh? Well we've got more footage of Operation: Clown, uh Operation: Naruto, oh just show the clip.

-Operation: Naruto-

Day 1-Hour 13

A Random Forest

Sakura: Is there anyway we can track him?

Kakashi: After that flash from that foreign object, I can't tell where he went. And I lost the scent of ramen.

Sasuke: How's your arm, Sakura?

Sakura: It's okay, it's a flesh wound. The bad part was that it sorta burned! I didn't know what hit me.

Kakashi: I have never seen any of his weapons before, and that makes him more dangerous. (clip ends as the first)

Shikamaru: ...That's it? (dude backstage: Uh...yeah.) What a rip. (the sound of the chair ripping can be heard) (sigh) You can stop fighting now. (Mugen and Jin are stil fighting) You can stop. ...(sighs and yawns) What a drag. (performs the Shadow Possession jutsu and traps Mugen) Ok-

Mugen: Hey, what the (record scratch) Why can't I move?!  
Shikamaru: I used my Shadow Possession jutsu-

Jin: Many thanks. (took a cheap shot to Mugen)  
M&S: OW!!! (both doubled over in pain0

Jin: How did I hit you?  
Shikamaru: Yeah cough you did. Okay cough get that girl here now, maybe she can get some insight on them.

Mugen: You mean that pink girl? Why the (record scratch) sre you bringing her? (dude backstage: We found her!) Oh great monkey (record scratch)

Shikamaru: The only good news all day. Bring her out.

Fuu: Hey! I've been looking for you two for ages and here's where I find you? I thought we had a promise! Remember?! The samurai who smells of sunflowers? Remember that? Huh?! You guys should be ashamed of yourselves.

And it goes on and on and on for more so and...

Jin: Fuu. We get it.

Mugen: Damn stank sunflower smellin' samurai...

Fuu: I hope you had fun! We are-

Shikamaru: You're just gonna take that from her? Who's she to you?

Mugen: Hey, that's right! Who are you?  
Fuu: Huh?  
Jin: But a promise is a promise. It's the code of-

Mugen: I don't give a damn!

Fuu: You can't do this!  
Shikamaru: Hey...ever heard of breaking a promise? That's what they just did.

Fuu: Huh? (sees Mugen and Jin running out of the studio) HEY! I'm not letting you ditch me again! (runs after them)

Shikamaru: Well that was a major drag. Uh...tune in next-you get the idea, more clips, random crap, probably a new set, yadda yadda yadda. (cue theme music) Hopefully Naruto comes back. (soon I hope, only Kakashi can do this show and deal with idiots) yawns I'm going to sleep. (lays down on the set and falls asleep)

Guy: Shikamaru? Shikamaru! (sigh) Asuma, wake him up.

Oh yeah, I also wanted to ask: What should you think the theme music to "What's the Deal" be? My friend thinks it should be the music that plays currently wnhe Euereka 7 comes on. Just wondering, and review. Please and thank you!


	16. Coverage on Operation: Naruto

It's..."What's the Deal"! (cue theme music) Where today Shikamaru will find out, "What's the deal" with some of the weirdest people around! (crowd cheers as Shikamaru sits up on stage)

Shikamaru: (yawns)...What a drag. What am I doing today?

Dude backstage: We did recieve another clip for Operation: Naruto, but-

Shikamaru: Do we have it ready?

Dude backstage: Yeah, but-

Shikamaru: Show it.

-Operation: Naruto-

Day 12-Hour 272

The Village of the Gorons

Link: (in sign language) Tell the chief Goron this: There are three strangers after me. They are a great threat if they are to enter this village. If they capture me, they will use my weapons to destroy your village and build a mini-mall in its place-

Goron #1: A MINI-MALL?!? The fiends!

Link: (isl) Yes, it's terrible. There are two little children, male and female, led by an adult, sliver haired and only his left eye exposed. You must hurry! (flew off via hookshot)

Goron #2: We must notify the chief!

Goron #3: The invaders are here! (pointed to the oncoming Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura)

Kakashi: Darn it, where did he go?

Sakura: Kakashi-sensei, look out!

Kakashi: Wha-huahk! (just got knocked out of the air by a Goron cannonball)

Sasuke: What was that?! Sakur-(got hit as well)

Sakura: Oh no-

The previous screen showing them running and cuts to the Link/Naruto pic.

Shikamaru: Poor them. I wouldn't want to be hit by one of those. Any questions? Comments?

Hinata: Poor Naruto...

Kiba: (backstage) Link's playing dirty!  
Shikamaru: Yeah he is...come to think of it. Questions?

Ino: Why are you always sleepy Shikamaru?!  
Sjikamaru: Why are you yelling?  
Ino: I wanted to make sure that you heard me!  
Shikamaru: (sigh) When I said "Questions", I meant about Operation: Clown or the show in any of that nature. But...to answer your question, I'm a narcoleptic. you know, someone who involuntarily falls asleep.

Rock Lee: Like when you fell asleep face first in your ramen?

Shikamaru: Uhh...yeah.

Kiba: I don't believe you!

Shikamaru: ZZZ.

Crowd: Uhh...

Kiba: He's faking! Go wake him up Akamaru!

Akamaru: Woof! Woof! (ran onstage and "takes a leak" on Shikamaru who didn't wake up) Woof?

Kiba: Guess he wasn't faking. Come back, hurry! (grabs Akamaru and runs backstage)

Shikamaru: ZZZ. (Guy throws a book) OW! Huh? (looks around) Uhh...what was your question Ino?

Ino: Nothing. (giggles)

Shikamaru: (smells his arm) What smells like piss-oh thanks Kiba. You all watch this while I clean myself up. (sighs) What a drag.

-Operation: Naruto-

Day 13-Hour 290

Location Unknown

Kakashi: huff We were lucky to get out of there...but huff we lost Link...

Sasuke: And Sakura...

Kakashi: What do you mean we lost Sakura?!  
Sakura: I'm here. Follow me, I think found Naruto.

The trio are then seen crouching by a desolate home and peeks in hoping to find the elsuive Link and Naruto.

Sakura: (w) Look! There's NAruto!  
Sasuke: (w) We can just bust in and get him-

Kakashi: (w) Wait.

He stopped them just in time to see this scene. Naruto, again tied up in the corner of the room, is trying to yell out for help but all his cries for help are muffled by the duct tape on his mouth. Even when Link told him to shut up from another room, Naruto, being the hard-head he is, kept on. Then they all heard footsteps approaching Naruto, who is now whimpering and screaming at the top of his voice but was shut up via Link smashing his head with his shield. Then the elf made sure no one saw or heard this and left the room.

Sakura: (w) Poor Naruto.

Sasuke: (w) If you ask me he deserved it-I mean...we have to save him. But how?

Sakura: (w) Do you have a plan Kakashi-sensei?

Kakashi: (looked at Sakura, then the window) ... ... ...

Skaura: (w) Kakashi-sensei?

Kakashi: (looks at the window)... ... ...Get ready-

S&S: Huh?!?  
Kakashi: (broke the window, jumped in, grabbed Naruto and ran out) Come on!

Link: What the?! (runs to the window) Kakashi. (jumps out the window, pulls on the Pegasus boots and goes in pursuit)

Kakashi: Keep running! Don't stop until we reach Konaha!  
Sasuke: He's after us! Let's lose him in the trees! (the sound of a hook embedding itself in the flesh trees is getting nearer) Oh shi-

The previous ending where this time Kakashi's running with Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura are following behind, and LInk is running after them full speed with sword in hand.

Shikamaru: (sigh) This is embarrasing. Someone should help them.

Kiba: Why not you? (crowd cheers in agreement)

Shikamaru: Why me? Why not our so called "Genius" Neji?  
Neji: I would but...I don't feel like it.

Shikamaru: Ok, who wants Naruto back? (crickets chirp) Ooookay...who wants Kakashi back? (the crowd cheers and clapping filled the studio) Oh that's nice. Fine, I will go get Kakashi. God knows he's the only one for the show. Alright...(sigh) Someone take the show while I... ... ...(dude backstage: Shikamaru?) ZZZ.

Guy: Not again. Kiba, close the show.

Kiba: Will do! We'll see you net time and hopefully Kakashi will be back to take over the show! Until then keep this in mind: The grass is always greener when you don't fart on it! (dude backstage: Where does he come up with this stuff?)

Uhh...review please!


	17. Operation: NarutoCompleted

Will they ever find Naruto...

It's "What's the Deal"! (cue theme music) Where anything goes on this episode, and by anything, I mean ANYTHING! (crowd cheers as Guy walks on the stage)

Guy: Man, Shikamaru was right. This show really can be done only by Kakashi. Well, here's the clip.

-Operation: Naruto-

Day 14-Hour 316

The border of the village hidden in the mist

Link: Get back HERE!!!

Kakashi: Don't stop! Cut through the district!

Link: No you don't! (let loose a bombchu)

Sakura: Kakashi-sensei!

Kakashi: it's-nyahhh!!!! (he was hit by the bomb, causing his transformation jutst to disable-It was Sasuke posing as Kakashi)

Sasuke: Sakura, Kakashi went left...to Konaha...be discrete...

Sakura: Huh? Right! (diverted the other way)

Link: (tackled Sasuke, pinning his hands and placed the point of his sword diectly between Sasuke's eyes) Where is he!  
Sasuke: I...I won't tell you unless youo stop this grudge-

Link: I'll never forgive him!  
Sasuke: Then no information-

Link: Well prepare to give me the information unwillingly!  
Sasuke: It doesn't matter what you do, I won't-(getting tickled by Link) heh heh-Stop! What are-ha ha! No! Heh heh HA HA HA! I'm not supposed to-meh ha ha-laugh! It's not my character-HA HA HA!

Link: Then tell me!  
Sasuke: Ne-heh heh-ver!  
Link: Fine by me. (pulls off Sasuke's sandal and pulls out a large feather) Still don't wanna talk?  
Sasuke: No-heh heh...Mmmhm-HA HA HA HA!!! Okay, okay-HA HA HA! He's...he's in-hee hee HA HA! Konaha! He's in Konaha! AH HA HA HA HA HA! Please...stop-HA HA HA!!!

Link: Good. You've been a big help. (leaves by hoookshot)

Sasuke: Hmph. (poofs out of another transformation jutsu-to be the ACTUAL Kakashi)

Kakashi: Damn I'm good. (goes over to a ditch, picks up Naruto and peels the tape off of his mouth) You okay Naruto?  
Naruto: Yeah-

Link: Nice try. (jumps down from a roof in front of Kakashi) I have you now Kakashi. Just you and me...

The scene cuts to a pic of Sasuke and Sakura with a silhouette of Naruto

Guy: Whoa. This guy can follow you to the ends of the earth.Hope they can get back safely. Come on-

Kiba: (backstage) Hey Guy-sensei! Can I ask a question?  
Guy: Ummm...Yeah go for it!

Kiba: If someone gets ridda Garra's sand, can he still fight?  
Gaara: Let me show you-

Rock Lee: LEAF HURRICANE!!! (kicked the gourd out of the studio) Did I do good sensei? Did I? Huh?  
Gaara: Noooooo! Mommy!!! I'm coming! (ran out to get the flying gourd)

Guy: (sigh) Lee, I suggest you keep kicking that gourd. In the meantime, we have another update.

-Operation: Naruto-

Day 14-Hour 320

The border of the village hidden in the mist

Link: (pulls out fully charged sword and advances towards Kakashi) You're mine.

Kakashi: Oh crap. Link, listen-

Link: There's too many people that listened to my voice already Kakashi. Enough talk, either let me kill Naruto or hand over your life.

Kakashi: What?! Are you crazy!  
Link: Maybe. Choose.

Kakashi: Link, when did this go to killing? Something as simple as-

Naruto: Wait! Hand me over.

Kakashi: Naruto!

Sasuke: (runs up) Oh no, I'm too late...  
Kakashi: (w) Have you gone suicidal or what? This isn't you!

Naruto: (w) Trust me-

Link: Cut the chit-chat and give him to me now!

Kakashi: (sigh) Fine. But this won't solve anything. (gives naruto to Link)

Link: Now leave.

Kakashi: Come on Sasuke. (runs off)

Link: Now, to even out the odds-(prepares to kill Naruto but it turns out it was a Naruto clone) What the fuc-

Kakashi: Nice one Naruto.

Naruto: (was transformed into Sasuke) What can I say?

Link: NOOOOOOO!!!!

The clip cuts to the pic of Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto.

Gaara: How dare you kick my mother! I should have killed you when I had the chance-

Rock Lee: Don't you mean your 'Mother' should have killed me-

Gaara: DIE!!!  
Rock Lee: Leaf Hurricane!! (kicked the gourd through the roof this time)

Gaara: NOOO!!! Not again!! (runs out to retrieve it)

Kankuro: Hey, that's as far as you go messin' with Gaara!

Temari: Yeah, prepare to pay-

Rock Lee: Both of you use weapons! Without them, your nothing! leaf Hurricane! (kicks Temari's fan and Kankuro's puppet through the roof as well)

T&K: NOOO!!!

Guy: Ok Lee, stop messing with them. All of you sit.

Gaara: (running back in, out of breath) You...can't...control me!!! (collasped in the doorway due to exhaustion)

Guy: Uhh...(w: Please tell me there's another clip) (dude backstage: it is.) Alright!

-Operation: Naruto-

Day 14-Hour 325

a forest in Konahagakure

Kakashi: We're almost home Naruto-

Link: I'm coming for you Kakashi!!! (dashing through the trees)

Naruto: Not again! Why can't he just leave me alone?! What did I do to you!  
Link: Seiyaaaaahh!!! (shot magic blasts from his sword)

Shikamaru: I think it's time I inervene. (uses the Shadow Possession jutsu on Link, imoblizing him) Okay, now we can settle this.

Link: What is this?! Free me now!!!

Naruto: Yeah! Now I can get my revenge! (runs towards Link but Kakashi stops him)

Kakashi: No Naruto, we're here to make amends. Link, why do you think that killing one of us will sove anything?  
Link: Of course killing one of you won't solve anything! I just need one of you to join the deceased secret of my voice.

Naruto: That doesn't make any sense!  
Link: You're the main reason I need to!

Shikamaru: Naruto, shut up. Link, what will happen if people know how you sound?

Link: Well, they...it will...I just wanted to keep it a secret! That's my persona!

Shikamaru: Okay, think about this: I thought your persona was a hero. You know, those guys that do good, never go for revenge, don't hold grudges, try not to kill people above anything else, were NICE. Wasn't that your persona?

Link: A hero...(his eyes lost the fire of hated and revenge) What have I done? You're right Shikamaru. I haven't been behaving like a hero. I'll stop this crazy chase.

Naruto: About time-

K&S: Shut up!

Kakashi: Finnaly, we can leave-

Link: Wait. There's something I want to ask of you before I leave.

Kakashi: Yes?  
Link: Can I knock him out so he'll stay out until you return home?  
Naruto: What? Yeah right-

K&S: Okay!

Naruto: WHAT?!

Link: Seiyaah! (whaps Naruto with the handle of his sword) Hmph, little guy has the biggest mouth.

Shikamaru: Tell me about it...

Kakashi: You know, you are pretty good at handling him. Maybe you can come back and 'encourage' him to behave? Hmm?

Link: Nice offer, but I'll have to decline. I have made my impression.

Shikamaru: So this is goodbye?

Link: (winks, then leaves through the trees)

Kakashi: There goes a born warrior-

Shikamaru: Who doesn't know when to quit. I'm cold so let's get back already. (picks up Naruto) How much you wanna bet it's total chaos there?

Kakashi: I hope not.

Operation: Naruto-complete

Kakashi: We're back! (sees the entire crowd in utter chaos) Uhh...

Shikamaru: You owe me five dollars.

Kakashi: What for?

Shikamaru: I bet you earlier.

Kakashi: I didn't agree to it.

Shikamaru: Crap. I suppose you want me to help you stop this right?

Kakashi: Please do.

Shikamaru: (sigh) What a drag...

Finally! Whew...I know, this was a load of crap. But I mainly did it for my brother. The way he acted it out was hilarious. I wish you could have seen it. You would have liked it more. Ah well...now a message from Kakashi...

Kakashi: Hi I'm Kakashi Hatake. You may know me from such works like "Naruto" and "What's the Deal". Now I need to ask of you. Do you have any ideas of anyone you'd like me to interview? If so, run it by therichnobody. She and I would really appreaciate it.

Review please!


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